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How can I stop being so against authority?

7 replies

Emeraldcrown · 25/10/2025 12:58

I’ve always been the same since I was a child, I absolutely hate being told what to do or the idea of someone being in any sort of authority of me. If a teacher would tell me off or said something I didn’t like- I’d dislike them forever. I’d not want to go to school anymore. I’d actively think of ways in my head that i could get them back or punish them.

and stupidly, I’m the same in adult life. I’m hardworking, and nice I’d say, I managed university fine (but that was a lot of free will) but I’ve had 4 jobs in 5 years and it always ends up the same, I’m fine, I pass probation, but I get to the year mark and start disliking it, disliking my manager- if my manager suggests something or says any feedback about my work I get the hump. I can’t accept praise either. There’s no resilience, I just leave and I’m onto the next. I find being told what to do, or assigned tasks overwhelming.

Im the same with friends, if they do anything or say one thing I don’t like. I cut them off. I can’t be doing with it, I get annoyed at them easily. I find friendships overwhelming I think. It’s the same with work, I don’t like having the responsibility of keeping something going on my shoulders

Now I’m leaving my job again, I’m self aware I'm the problem. I’d like to be a better employee, I’d like to be a better friend- but I don’t know where to start? I don’t know how to change or describe my feelings. My parents were always big coddlers, very reassuring, very loving and huggy- and “everything is possible, you’re amazing” so I wonder if that’s made me not able to accept any form of rejection or comment because I never had that til work/school/friends.

where do I start?

OP posts:
strawgoh · 25/10/2025 13:05

Maybe look up PDA and see if there's anything in the description of that which rings a bell for you?

I don't like being criticised or told what to do either!

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 25/10/2025 13:06

strawgoh · 25/10/2025 13:05

Maybe look up PDA and see if there's anything in the description of that which rings a bell for you?

I don't like being criticised or told what to do either!

Yes I immediately thought this too.

FionnulaTheCooler · 25/10/2025 13:09

Get some therapy. Not a snarky suggestion, I do think it would be helpful for you to talk through these issues with a professional and try to find some strategies for the future.

UncertainPerson · 25/10/2025 13:12

Definitely look up Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria as well. Sorry you’ve been finding things hard.

Neverbeentothegym · 25/10/2025 13:33

I also have this. I moved into a role where I am more of a lone wolf. I try to not pass it onto my children. It’s difficult

smallglassbottle · 25/10/2025 13:46

I'm autistic and adhd and I push back against all types of authority. I can't seem to help it. They all seem to be incompetent fools to my way of thinking. I have zero tolerance for incompetence - honest mistakes are okay, but don't do it again - I can't tolerate being told what to do and will automatically push back even if the thing might be in my best interests. Everything has to be on my terms. I do have a history of severe childhood abuse, care system and medical assault so that probably contributes to it as well.

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