Family bereavement etiquette

[cherrypied]

DH grandmother has died in her late 90s after a long illness and slow terrible decline.

I’m close to MIL. I’ve spoken to her and will see her today.

in this situation I don’t know whether to send a card or flowers to MIL as it’s family we are also bereaved but I want mil to know I am thinking of her all the time.

DH has no emotions at all but that is another thread

Bit late now as you’ve obviously seen her, but i remember a work colleague saying please don’t bring me flowers , my
house already looks like a florists , so agree biscuits are great idea

My friend bought me a beautiful rose bush when I lost my son 🩵

I understand why people might not want flowers, though I confess, I did send flowers to my lovely DIL when her mum died. i do usually send a card. My own experience has been that I may not read them at the time, but when I have felt able to, I have found comfort in reading them, especially if the sender has included a particular memory of my loved one.
OP, I would say go with your instincts. You know your MIL and what she would appreciate. And as someone up thread said , look out for your DH. Mine has recently become the oldest living member of his entire family and has found that hard to deal with.

If everyone thought like this she would be inundated with ....nothing 🤷‍♀️
Personally I like to give/receive flowers, if I am buying them for someone who has suffered a loss I get the ones that are already set up in water so they don't have to worry about vases.
If your MIL is someone who normally likes to receive flowers then I would go ahead and get her some.
I wouldn't say anything but I wouldn't really appreciate 'a meal to put in the oven later' because I might not fancy lasagne/casserole/spag bol etc and I would feel like I had to eat it or freeze it (and ignore it) or it would go to waste.

For clarification I ordered some bare root roses in grandmas name that will be delivered in November.

I will buy three nice pots and pot them up and bring them on a bit over winter and they will be gifted in June time