Do you notice people staring at you when visiting a provincial town?

[himbw]

I was born and raised in a market town in Cumbria. Moved away when 18 and go back to see parents every few months. I now live in central London.

My partner agreed with me that he feels people stare when we are walking around town. He feels the same way when he visits his folks in a small town in rural north Wales.

It’s not anything malicious, I don’t think, but it does feel like people can tell you’re not a local.

We don’t have pink hair or dress in any odd way. I guess the only difference might be that we might have different fashion choices or clothes, i e, m&s is a basic for us.

Does anyone else notice this? We don’t feel the same when visiting somewhere like Suffolk or maybe Devon. What is it?

@Teathecolourofcreosote that's what I wondered too, in our village it's very unusual for people not to greet others or at least smile. That and us all being fat and ugly, obvs.

This is you isn’t it OP?

I used to live in Cumbria. When I first moved to London noone gave me a second look.

Oops, totally misread - it was the same when I returned home to my parents, noone gave me a second look back there either!

No because I'm not that special.

This makes even less sense than your first post?

If the people of Norwich are shouting abuse at you, why have you settled on the idea it's because you're slimmer and prettier than all of them?

Have you explored other reasons at all?

No, the only people who got stared at were already in the public eye like Noel Edmonds who lived locally and Jacob Rees Mogg who was our MP.

The only time I've noticed people staring at me is Somerset. Never anywhere else such as Birmingham, Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Sheffield, Bristol, London etc

No. I have strong reasons for believing this

Depends where in Cumbria I suppose. The Lakes and West Cumbria gets a lot of tourists so nobody ever notices what anyone looks like. In the Eden Valley it's a bit more insular, so if you're talking about Appleby or Kirkby Stephen I could believe that if you dress like a city girl now you'll stick out like a sore thumb (unless it's Appleby fair week, in which case anything goes).

More like strong drugs if you believe you're slimmer and more attractive than everyone in the whole of Norwich! 👀😁

Same but 46.

I always remember one Christmas Eve, my brother and I were staying with the parents who live in a small town (we didn't grow up there or anywhere nearby). We decided to the local pub for a couple of drinks. When we walked in, the room went silent. No idea why -we were clean, wearing jeans and sweaters with normal hairstyles - but it was very unnerving. Ironically the pub was called 'The Welcome Stranger' so we renamed it 'The Sod Off Stranger'.

Given your arrogance about your looks they are probably looking at you and thinking: :"Oh FFS, we thought that delusion idiot had left the town for good!"

And quite probably, neither is the OP.

Although her distaste of "provincial towns" when compared to marvellous London is obvious.

No one stares at me because Im not that special

And neither are you or your partner. No one is staring at you.

Is this a wind-up? How snobby. I also moved away from a northern town to London btw. Nobody's looking at you. I think this is rage bait though

What I noticed when I moved out of London to a smallish town was that we stood out mainly I think because we were striding along when we were walking down the high street whereas everyone else seemed to be strolling along

Also everyone says good morning or afternoon as you pass even if you don’t know each other (where we live anyway)

Ive read the thread now, I see whats happening

OP, those people staring at you intently, its your reflection in shop windows. Just turn away a bit and you wont feel so unnerved.

Yes because I'm stunning. Happens everywhere.

No

Eg. A perfectly normal bright red jumper woth bright yellow t shirt, jeans and trainers / and a colourful bag will get you funny looks in some small Scandinavian / german towns

This is true.
Went on holiday to my DHs former country, the Netherlands, and although we were not decked out in outstanding bright colours as a family, we did stand out, and were taken notice of, as we walked around the town surrounded by a sea of beige and grey garbed locals.

Nope, never experienced anything like this in any part of the UK. It's either in your head or you're doing something very unusual.

Yes OP, it happens to me - a great deal. Seemingly wherever I go, and I’m travelling a lot so it’s noticeable in places with crowds.
I’m a mouse, live discreetly, I’m quietly below the radar also at an age where I’m supposed to be (completely) invisible (v late 60’s). It’s genuinely puzzling to me.

Not only do I see people definitely staring overtly at me, almost daily, overly-long eye gazes, looking me up and down, but I also see couples staring and very obviously both in conversation about me. Not in my imagination, I look/dress normally.

For balance, a neutral male friend laughed and initially said it was all in my imagination - but then relented when he himself laughingly had to point out to me people who were actually staring and overtly looking me up and down. “They can’t stop staring at you!” he exclaims, in surprise.

I’m not very good making or holding eye contact myself - but have trained myself sometimes when it’s necessary to do an even-eyed hard-gaze back.

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp Eg. A perfectly normal bright red jumper woth bright yellow t shirt, jeans and trainers / and a colourful bag will get you funny looks in some small Scandinavian / German towns.

If I saw someone dressed like an off-duty Rupert Bear I would probably stare too to be fair...

OP, I also grew up in a Cumbrian market town and moved away for university. When I go back I blend in perfectly, probably because I'm now getting on a bit. According to my adult DS the town has more than its fair share of older people, so I fit right in.

Are you the only gay in the village?