Does anyone else feel weirdly guilty for wanting a break from their own family?

[GlowWithBalance]

I’ve been seeing a lot of “holiday survival” and “mental load” threads lately, and it made me wonder if anyone else feels this: sometimes I just want a weekend completely alone — no kids, no partner, no plans, no noise. And then, the second I think it, the guilt hits.
I love my family, obviously. But between work, house stuff, school events, meals, and being everyone’s default problem-solver, I feel like my brain never shuts off. Even on so-called “days off,” I’m still on duty. I can’t remember the last time I woke up and only had to think about myself.
Is it normal to crave 48 hours of total solitude, or is that a red flag that I’m burning out? I keep wondering if other parents feel this way and just don’t say it out loud.
What actually helps you reset — and do you ever get to do it without feeling guilty?

I think it’s really important to take time for yourself. You dont have anything to feel guilty about. FWIW I think you’d need to book a night away from home for it to really be effective else you’re still available. You might also agree with DP that you’ll take turns?

For ongoing reset, I take a weekly long bath/walk as being without screens is important to me. This is usually the same day as a takeaway. I also mute WhatsApp / social media over a weekend day at least once a month and I’m looking at picking a hobby or two back up.

Totally! I'm still annoyed DH never took the DC away for 5 days in the summer when he said he would! I had to work (new job) but as I'm part time I'd have had two days to myself.

being everyone’s default problem-solver, this! I'm trying to offload this onto my children, that they think before coming to me. Or, shock horror, ask DH. I'm so much the default parent that when he had holidays and was home with them, in the same room as them, they'd still disturb me at work to ask me something.

Sounds completely normal to me.

Tbh when mine were toddlers I debated having a third as DC 2 came so fast the doctor said he would admit me to hospital two weeks before my due date 😂

I had Thursday and Friday away last week. Just a long walk an hour away, a night in a Travelodge, then exploring the town. It was brilliant.

I think a lot of us feel this OP - don't feel guilty!

I understand but I don’t feel guilty about it!

When dc were babies till about 3 I had every Saturday afternoon from 1pm off.

I’ve never felt remotely guilty at taking time for myself. I adore DH and DS but sometimes I go away by myself.

I have been going on solo holidays for 25 years. Even before I had children and after I had children. ( I also go with them)
I feel not an iota of guilt.

Yes yes yes - I hear you. I've been thinking like this a lot recently.
Mine are teenagers now but I feel it even more because actually, when they were small it was busy but also fun. Now I still feel the mental drain but without a lot of the lovely bits.
It's half term this week (I'm a teacher) and Dh has taken the week off so we can do nice things together but I'm largely just feeling rage.
Also, the guilt...I envy people who don't get this. I've always worked full time so felt guilty enough about that without daring to take time for myself as well.

Oh God, it's perfectly normal! When DD was younger, I worked four days a week just so I had one day off in the house by myself! I still used to do jobs and potter around but I could also go to the gym and do things I wanted to do without planning around anyone else. I am back to full time now and I still miss my day off, although DD has gone to uni now and DH is away on a work trip so I am actually home alone for a few days now!

It’s completely normal! My DC are grown up and have left home now but I still enjoy it when DH has a couple of nights away with work every now and again. It feels like I’ve plugged my brain in for a recharge! It’s the opportunity to just think your own thoughts without interruption, do your own thing without needing to consider someone else’s needs and eat whatever you want for dinner and it’s all very restful. I’m always delighted to see him again when he returns but the break does me good. He doesn’t feel the same - really misses me when I go away and doesn’t like being away on business at all. We’re all different. 😊

This will put me to people who know me as I have told this story many times but, when DD was little, she asked me if I knew where something was in the house. I was in the middle of my degree at the time and was busy trying to meet as deadline so I said, "Why don't you ask Dad? He is your parent too."
DD response..."Yes, but you're more qualified!"

I thought that just about sums it up really 😂

It sounds completely normal 💐

Giving yourself some time for you is not selfish. You have to look after you to be able to look after everyone else.

Giving yourself head space enables you to be the Mum, Wife, daughter friend that you want to be, rather than the exhausted one you'll be if the guilt stops you. Spin the thoughts of guilt onto their head and remind yourself that your doing it for the right reasons.

People look at me like I gave 2 heads when I say the thing I don’t like about holidays ( either with children in the past or now as a couple) is I can’t stand the 24/7 ness of it - I find them really claustrophobic - especially if you have partners that don’t have hobbies - go off and play golf, go to a museum on their own etc

YANBU and there's no need to feel guilty at all. Could you book a hotel room for the weekend?

No reason to feel guilty at all, I have a few days away alone every year and I enjoy it so much! I don't do a lot, mainly walking and eating whatever I want to eat without having to consider everyone else's needs! Now my kids are getting bigger I'm considering going away for a full week next year.