I started SA counselling yesterday (TW)

[ifeellikeimnotworthit]

I don’t know how to feel.

The counsellor is lovely, seems very safe and gentle. The room isn’t what I expected - in a good way - it’s sofas, cushions, and the option to do colouring in, doodling, fidget toys, mediation, visualisation, guided relaxing etc.

They’ve also got a sand tray and board games … which she said can be useful for difficult conversations. She said the room is designed to suit all ages (so there were also a few toys) but said many adults find the sand etc helpful.

To be honest my ‘little self’ felt very soothed by the setting.

I can get 20 sessions from next week, this week was just forms and meeting each other really.

I’m tired though. I’ve spent most of today very tearful. I’m also having a really painful period, and had hep B and flu jabs today.

My lovely lovely aunty picked me up tonight and took me to hers. Lying on the sofa watching the traitors with her cats and some chocolate …

I don’t know why I’m posting. Just feeling a bit fragile!

The ‘stuff’ happened years and years ago and my aunty doesn’t know the story. The counsellor said specifically not to open up to her tonight or anyone ‘as they won’t know how to help and it might cause you more distress’.

The thoughts and emotions this brings forwards can be immense and drains your energy, it’s a brave thing to do.

Take care and always plan self care recovery time afterwards.

It's a brave thing to do, I'm proud of you.
I hope it brings you the peace you need.

Well done, you are very brave to do that. I imagine at times it will be overwhelming, scary and tiring.
Good luck

Your counsellor sounds wise. She has prepared you. That’s very positive. I’m glad your aunt is supportive, and has cats and chocolate on hand to help.

You will have rough times. But you can make progress.

Well done, and good luck with your therapy journey. as others have said, therapy and making sense of past experiences/cognitive restructuring/processing trauma can be massively overwhelming and physically exhausting. I have been on both sides as a therapist (we have to undergo personal therapy as well to ensure safety and work on our own stuff). One of the things I say to my clients is to factor in extra buffers of self-care and time after sessions. I used to be exhausted and busy in my mind for a day or two post therapy myself!

Thank you so much xxx it helped enormously staying at my aunty’s, she also said same thing ‘I’m not going to ask you anything about it, we’ll just watch the traitors’

Which was such a relief as I always have this thing of ‘I need to tell you about…’ in the back of my mind so it was such a relief not having that this time.

I got such a good sleep last night too knowing I was being looked after for the night, it just made the world of difference.