My husband was appalling for several years. Drunk. Verbally abusive. Mainly directed at me but also very cruel to our child (primary aged). It coincided with me being very ill (physically and long stints in hospital). This made leaving difficult when the situation was at its worst. I am in his country, so going back to the UK could still be very difficult in terms of The Hague Convention. Leaving pets (rabbits and others that can’t travel like a dog with a pet passport) is another issue. There is also a very malicious SIL on the scene. I am terrified of shared custody, as I need to protect DC. My husband would not leave the house, even though it was a joint purchase.
Things have been much better this year as my husband stopped drinking, stopped raging and stopped a lot of the cruelty. Though I will never trust him again. There is no indication he is dangerously now.
School has known and supported DC over the years. I thought things were much better for DC and they are much calmer. They just told me they had a meeting with the school counselor and feel afraid when their father is in the house and cannot sleep easily. I was not expecting this. At the same time my husband is wanting to take DC off for weekends away and I am concerned, particularly if it is to visit the awful side of his family.
What do I do. Contact the school counselor? See if they contact me soon and then act?
I will look into starting the legal process to leave, but could end up very trapped with shared custody and even struggle to take DC to the UK for holidays. The Hague Convention was much needed but can also be a trap for people stuck in a controlling, abusive relationship.