I’m becoming too anxious to work

[PithyMauveZebra]

Currently working in a very toxic environment. My manager micro manages me and has made multiple comments towards me that are abrasive, rude and unkind. I'm very worried I'm going to make things worse, but I'm considering raising it with their line manager so essentially the CEO because I can no longer take this after today. I'm sat in my room on the verge of tears. As a grown adult too.

Here are a few recent incidents that are stacking up:

1. Manager told me after I had spend 45 mins of my free time after work with a colleague listening to their troubles that the colleague felt dismissed and complained about my mannerism and they then said “you’re abrupt and have no idea at times”
2. I attended an interview externally. Manager was furious. Multiple unnecessary comments about how I should have never acted in that way and next time I need to move through with professionalism

1. In a 1-1 I put in all my targets on the pro forma. Manager was adding and amending some.

1. Constant use of the term "don't see this as me trying to belittle you" whilst subsequently belittling me

1. When emailing me or contacting me. No greeting just straight to it and bluntly as if I have to drop everything and deal with that.

6 Today rather than speaking to me personally my manager undermined me in front of the children (I’m a teacher if it’s not already clear from the post) and was abrasive to the point another student found me and said are you ok why was that staff member shouting at you. I brushed it off and said no don't worry it was just nothing. But actually it wasn't.

1. Spoke to someone else that is line managed by them and the response was they've never addressed me in that way

8 I’m constantly being told about leadership support to help me. Framing me as incompetent when I’ve worked so hard to create everything.

These all sounds silly but it's adding up. I don’t know if I approach my line manager first. Or I just go to their line manager.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with the above OP. I am finding my work place incredibly upsetting as well. Management making promises and then withdrawing, stating they trust me but…
It’s so upsetting when you’ve put your heart and soul into a job and this is how you are repaid.

The remedy for me short term is to have an early night and then take the anger out on the lane swim. Exercise for endorphins, sleep because everything feels better when refreshed. 😖

I’m an ex teacher but live with one so know how the current situation is in education.

Is the CEO that you are referring to the CEO of the trust? If I were you, I would be extremely wary of going down that route. In my experience (and that of my OH), the leadership of big trusts really are not to be trusted and certainly do not have your back. They are not there to support teachers but to increase profits (mainly via cutting costs and increasing numbers via any means possible).

If you feel that you are being constantly undermined then it’s not only going to affect your MH but also your teaching ability and therefore something needs to be done. I’d go to your union and then ask for a meeting with HR with your rep present. Remember to document everything.

I’m sorry you are in this position, teaching is not what it was 😔.

You really ought to do something about it. I think sometimes we think we should tolerate an unpleasant work environment or else we're being wimpy or something but I really think that's a load of crap. My DH is Southern European and thinks its a Germanic Anglo cultural. I know it can be nerve wracking but better that than continue to feel crappy because of work. I think some managers enjoy talking down to people and it's half the reason they get into positions like that.

OP, I sympathise, having been in a similar situation. I agree with @Northerndoglover to document everything and meet with HR. I would take a third person with me, preferably my union rep.

The thing to remember though is that the manager is appointed by the CEO and they are very likely to protect that person. HR also functions to protect the school.. You have to be very clear, unemotional and practical about what you wish to see addressed e.g. the manager needs to speak to me about any concerns in a meeting not in front of the students.

Ultimately, if things don't improve it's best to seek out a role that will fulfil you rather than it breaking you.

Absolutely. HR are also working for the trust/CEO.

If you are finding that the environment within the school is one of toxicity then it might be coming from above and therefore it might be better to look for a school outside of that trust network. It’s so hard.

Up here, you know which trusts to avoid via word of mouth and sometimes that leaves very few schools to apply to when you want to move.

You read threads on here about people waiting days on seats in A&E and the NHS being broken, but actually education is just as broken. More people need to know what it is like to work inside one of these big trusts.

How would you deal with a rude, abrupt and annoying pupil?

She's just your boss. The worst she can do is reccomend you get fired. But from the sound of it, she will probably mess that up too so at least you'll have a claim.