Not slept a wink and have to go into the office

[Letmeinletmein]

I was recently off work for 2 weeks on annual leave and got back last Wednesday. I have been back in work since Friday so I’ve done two days back in but unfortunately, since being home I haven’t been sleeping. I’ve had about 2-3 hours from Wednesday onwards and last night has been the worst. I took a n antihistamine in hopes it would work as a sleeping tablet and still no luck, in fact I haven’t slept AT ALL. I feel very stressed and panicked and mentally don’t feel capable of working but I feel like that’s really bad after I’ve just been off for 2 weeks.

We are a small team of 4 people and one of them is already off on long term sick so there’s only 3 of us in. Today is supposed to be my first day back in the office (yesterday and Friday were WFH days) but I am really really dreading this. I don’t feel fit to drive, especially coming home from work after I will no doubt feel so much worse at the end of the day. I have physical symptoms of lack of sleep now like a raging headache and dizziness, and I mentally feel like I won’t be able to concentrate and I feel a lot of stress and anxiety.

I don’t feel like there’s anything I can do though due to me already being off for 2 weeks plus the other team member being off. Is that bad on the team? If you were me would you call in sick or ask to WFH or would you feel like you have to push through and go in? I don’t even think I could last the whole work day. I don’t even want to call in sick because I have so much work to do that has piled up over the 2 weeks I’ve been off. I don’t have to be up until 8 but now I can’t even try to get the last few hours in because I’m worrying about work

There’s a difference between being tired and exhausted to the point of feeling physically ill to OP’s extent where she’s dizzy with a terrible headache.

What are the chances she’s going to have a productive day with no mistakes? Or is she just going to turn up to struggle to do the bare minimum correctly?

I’m a manager and wouldn’t have an issue with someone calling in sick in this case. I prefer that to presenteeism.

Well, unfortunately sometimes this happens to us.
In the past, of course you went to work.
You'll manage.

I know magnesium is meant to help sleep, but it gives me insomnia if I take it in the evening. It’s weird but I’ve tried it a few times and I’ve ended up with the worst nights sleep. I now take it at lunchtime and it’s fine.

That Jerome Flynn Back to Sleep one is my favourite too. When I was going through a particularly shit time recently and struggling to sleep it was really helpful.
Think I got a bit of a crush on him too. When he says all that stuff about 'don't think about sleep, this is just about being relaxed' etc my emotionally knackered brain was all 'you lovely, non-judgemental man, sob sob' 😂

What a dick I am.

At the moment, I've been using the sleep story about the Venetian glass maker and dreaming about swishing through campos with a velvet kirtle whilst avoiding smallpox.

No wonder the Russians and the Chinese are laughing at us, and the country's being overrun. What the Hell's happened to people in this country? Get some Red Bull or Monster down your neck and get on with it.

The ignorance of all the people on this thread thinking insomnia is like getting a few sleepless nights is so depressing, and is why I'd advise OP to call in sick, but lie about the reason for it. Call it the flu instead.

I think I would find myself thinking about his brother, Johnny Flynn on whom I have a bit of a crush! 😁

Op, whatever you do today get some help with anxiety. You sound miserable and youve had some bad health news (heart). You need help to find a way to feel in control. Does your boss know about tinge heart thing? Someone else at work is on long term sick so I’m not sure it’s that healthy an environment. What do you do? Can you open up to uour boss? I would, if you can. Also talk to the dr about sleep and anxiety and managing medium term. Try to take control. Also it’s not your problem is others are out. But if you crack on with some of the holiday backlog and have support to do so, you’ll feel a lot better.

Usually when you feel like you didn't sleep you did, but you just don't realise it.

The problem with insomnia is stressing about it leads to a vicious cycle plus taking meds doesnt work long term.
Personally I just accept its going to be a challenging day but I just get up and get on, coffee , shower and haul my arse to work.
Break the day into chunks get up get ready
Morning to lunch, lunch to 4pm ( the worst) then home
Plenty of water, fresh air and then try to go to bed at your normal time

Look up breathing techniques for sleep 4-7-8
It's amazing!

But that's why we have the flexibility of WFH etc, Majority of where i work WFH on their 1st day back after being off , including the top bosses, it helps you clear through the 5,000 emails you have ease yourself back in. What is not great is doing no work at ll. Stay at home, catch up on the laptop do all your calls etc, then have a bath and early bed tonight, you will sleep better and then physically go into the office tomorrow, once you have caught up on work it will be as if you were never away and you will feel much better going in

Don't forget sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so don't minimise what you are feeling! It really does play havoc with your wellbeing when you haven't slept.

Ask to work from home. It's not your fault that the work of four people is being divided between three. That's on your employer to solve, not you.

Words cannot describe how I loathe the asinine phrase 'big girl pants'. Bleugh.

It isn't for you to solve that the full team hasn't been in for months. Why hasn't cover been arranged?

Did people just read the title and not bother reading OP's post?!

Same here - HRT and magnesium solved my insomnia.

Insomnia and losing sleep night after night isn’t just a matter of feeling tired. You can feel wired, dizzy, nauseous, shaky, emotional, cognitive function is impaired affecting judgement and people make errors, and so on. I know as I’ve had it. It’s not at all the same as feeling tired. OP already knows she isn’t safe to drive.

Well I disagree with basically everyone, it's not like you just had one bad night - true insomnia is awful and absolutely debilitating and also a medical problem. You can't do your job properly when you're sick with exhaustion and it isn't safe for you to drive.

In your shoes I'd apologetically explain to your boss and ask to work from home.

I have to take melatonin every night to get to sleep.

I also have medication (prescription & otherwise) that induces sleep. Not all antihistamines work as a sleep aid.

Call in sick. Make a herbal tea (have several as you are likely dehydrated). Have a hot bath. Open your bedroom window to let in fresh air. Dress in something light. The temperature drop from the hot bath to the cool air will assist you to fall sleep. There’s science behind it. You need to
make sure there’s a temperature drop so if the air temperature isn’t cold enough to drop your body temperature then you need to have a quick cold shower to drop it.

Something I do to fall asleep is to physically unclench each of my muscles. I realised my entire body was tensing up before sleep. I can’t fall asleep unless I do this.

So I focus on me legs, arms, shoulders and physically relax the muscles. Then I focus on breathing. Just normal breathing but being conscious of the oxygen going in and out.

There’s actually a sleep method that focuses on holding your breath and inhaling and exhaling. You can look it up - it’s used by the US military. I can never remember how long to hold my breath for but my breathing exercises work.

Next time you travel see a GP to prescribe you Valium for the flight. It’s wonderful. You can use it on the plane to avoid muscle tension and they usually prescribe packs of ten so there are heaps left for your holiday, return trip and when you get home.

Sorry I'm dashing out so haven't RTWT, but are you perimenopausal? Insomnia was my main symptom. Kirkland's Sleep Aid then HRT sorted me out.

Too late now as I imagine you’ve dragged yourself in but my advice for next time given that are able to do your job from home would be a message to your boss saying ‘hi boss, I am working from home today as I don’t feel well but I’m able to log on, I’ll be concentrating on working through the backlog from my leave - thanks, Letmein’

I take magnesium an hour before bed and it helps, takes a few weeks though

Thanks for all the replies this morning. Finishing in 10 minutes, thank the lord

Sorry but if you're fit to be writing all this on MN before 6am, you're fit to go to work!

I went to work