DS been hit several times since starting school

Fridgetapas · 2025-10-20T13:49:21+00:00

DS started P1 in September and has been hit by the same child four times since he started - so not every day but feels a lot to him I think! I’m at a bit of a loss of what to do. As an ex teacher I don’t want to keep going on at the teacher as I know just how difficult it is having a child that hits in your class and I’m sure she’s got a lot to deal with. On the other hand my DS is upset and I want to advocate for him. So far I went in and spoke to the teacher after the second time and she reassured me that DS had done the right thing by telling them and they were aware. But now it’s happened twice more..Do I go in again? Will it get better if a child constantly hits other children. It’s a very small school and he’ll be with this child the whole time he’s there. Any words of advice would be really appreciated!

Bobiverse · 20/10/2025 14:51

You have to keep going in, and you have to ask what they have put in place to safeguard your child from being hit while he is in their care.

While your kid is at school, your job is to advocate for them when the school fall below their duty. So do that.

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 20/10/2025 14:52

You need to report, because they need to be aware so they can put things in place if needed. It doesn't matter why the child is doing it, it's not acceptable.

CurlyKoalie · 20/10/2025 15:09

Presumably your DD says something to the teacher at the time? These things are very difficult to resolve if the child waits until hometime to tell mum.Making sure your dd speaks up would be my first suggestion.
Even though it's early in the school year I would be expecting parents to be called in by the school after 4 times to discuss this behaviour.
I had a similar thing when my dd had a " bitey" episode.
The agreement with her teacher was she got an hour sat at a desk on her own whilst the rest had " golden time" if she hit, bit or scratched anyone. We only had to use the sanction once.
I rewarded her at the end of term for no more instances reported home.
Getting the parents of the instigator involved early on supporting a behaviour plan and making sure the instigator knows parents support the school is very powerful. You also have to have a teacher who is prepared to use sanctions
Unfortunately some teachers view all sanctions, however mild as some form of abhorrent practice.

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 20/10/2025 19:16

CurlyKoalie · 20/10/2025 15:09

Presumably your DD says something to the teacher at the time? These things are very difficult to resolve if the child waits until hometime to tell mum.Making sure your dd speaks up would be my first suggestion.
Even though it's early in the school year I would be expecting parents to be called in by the school after 4 times to discuss this behaviour.
I had a similar thing when my dd had a " bitey" episode.
The agreement with her teacher was she got an hour sat at a desk on her own whilst the rest had " golden time" if she hit, bit or scratched anyone. We only had to use the sanction once.
I rewarded her at the end of term for no more instances reported home.
Getting the parents of the instigator involved early on supporting a behaviour plan and making sure the instigator knows parents support the school is very powerful. You also have to have a teacher who is prepared to use sanctions
Unfortunately some teachers view all sanctions, however mild as some form of abhorrent practice.

Thanks, yes he is saying to the teacher at the time. I’m really glad he feels able to speak up.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 20/10/2025 19:20

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 20/10/2025 14:52

You need to report, because they need to be aware so they can put things in place if needed. It doesn't matter why the child is doing it, it's not acceptable.

Thank you. I will speak to the teacher again. I was kind of wondering at what point do I say this is too much now and we need to put things into place to keep him more safe as clearly what they are doing so far isn’t really working…

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CurlyKoalie · 21/10/2025 10:23

I would say 4 times is already too many incidents. I would be demanding to know what the teacher is doing about it because ignoring it or giving a weak verbal warning is obviously not working and could actually be encouraging the misbehaviour.
Find out what is triggering these incidents., Is your child winding up the other child, is there some kind of sharing issue or is it unprovoked bullying?

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 21/10/2025 14:41

CurlyKoalie · 21/10/2025 10:23

I would say 4 times is already too many incidents. I would be demanding to know what the teacher is doing about it because ignoring it or giving a weak verbal warning is obviously not working and could actually be encouraging the misbehaviour.
Find out what is triggering these incidents., Is your child winding up the other child, is there some kind of sharing issue or is it unprovoked bullying?

Thank you. From what I can gather the other child lashes out and seems to have trouble following instructions. The teacher said that it’s completely unprovoked. DS is an incredibly gentle child and seems quite confused why someone wants to hit and hurt him.
The teacher said she’s had a meeting with the other child’s parents and they are trying to ‘put things into place’.

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coxesorangepippin · 21/10/2025 16:15

Tell your son to hit him back?? If he knocks ten bells out of a bully, bully won't come back again??

SeriousFaffing · 21/10/2025 16:21

Deck his mum.

Honestly though, this sounds tough. You can’t be expected to stand by and listen to your son complaining about being hit. This isn’t ok. I’d want to see immediate and effective action from the school. What kind of lessons does this teach the children, having to be hit on a frequent basis but just to put up with it. Your poor son isn’t being kept safe.

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 21/10/2025 16:30

coxesorangepippin · 21/10/2025 16:15

Tell your son to hit him back?? If he knocks ten bells out of a bully, bully won't come back again??

Absolutely not. The child isn’t bullying him. He’s a four year old, with what appears to be additional needs reading between the lines. Imagine that was your child and the children were being taught to hit him back.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 21/10/2025 16:38

SeriousFaffing · 21/10/2025 16:21

Deck his mum.

Honestly though, this sounds tough. You can’t be expected to stand by and listen to your son complaining about being hit. This isn’t ok. I’d want to see immediate and effective action from the school. What kind of lessons does this teach the children, having to be hit on a frequent basis but just to put up with it. Your poor son isn’t being kept safe.

Edited

Thank you. That’s what I want really. Steps to ensure he’s kept safe and this thread has reassured me to go in and keep reporting any time it’s happened.
All good today so I hope it continues!

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Ddakji · 21/10/2025 16:42

You absolutely advocate for your child, every time. Stop feeling sorry for his teacher. She’s failing to safeguard your child. DD went through the whole of primary without ever being hit - 4 times in a single half term is 4 times too many.

Original poster

Fridgetapas · 21/10/2025 16:54

Ddakji · 21/10/2025 16:42

You absolutely advocate for your child, every time. Stop feeling sorry for his teacher. She’s failing to safeguard your child. DD went through the whole of primary without ever being hit - 4 times in a single half term is 4 times too many.

I will advocate for him every time thank you. Please don’t tell me to stop having empathy for another person when I know it’s a tough job.

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Bitzee · 21/10/2025 16:59

Tell your DS to where possible stay away from this kid and when it’s not teach him to shout ‘stop hitting me’ as loud as he can so that it gets the teacher’s attention. Tough though especially in a small school since you won’t have the hope of another class next year.

SingtotheCat · 21/10/2025 17:29

There is not a court in the land who would convict anyone of hitting another back in self defence. Especially as it is the same child hurting your child. That child will soon learn.

AlwaysADramaHadEnough · 21/10/2025 17:40

We had this. In the end DS hit the child back. The child hasn't touched ds again.
I was raised as tell the teacher Once if the child does it again hit back .
It may he frowned upon but it works !

Gofaster2023 · 21/10/2025 17:45

Good god, what am I reading? Op has said that this child presumably has additional support needs and some of you think a beating is going to sort him out? And in terms of the teacher, how exactly is she supposed to restrain a child at all times to ensure he can't ever hit? Op, you sound really reasonable so I think you already have in mind what my advice is, but report, report, report. The more incidences that are recorded, the better the evidence the school can compile to look into further support for this child. I've been the teacher in a similar scenario and the head teacher is often reluctant to take the class teacher seriously but cant ignore the parents coming in repeatedly. I ended up getting a 1:1 psa, movement breaks and play therapy for my little chap.