Up until my mid/late 20s, I never thought I’d want kids. I simply felt no motherly instinct, nor did I want for a family - children were the last thing on my mind when I thought about my future.
Around the time I was 28 (three years into dating my now-DH) something changed. All of a sudden, I started feeling a very strong - primal, almost - desire to settle down, have children, and build a family. At which point I realised, oh, so THIS is what everyone else has been talking about when they say they want kids! I felt like something had clicked, and after all this time I finally understood. I felt so happy and excited for my future with DH and a young family.
But now that I’m married, in my early 30s, and in the best place I’ll ever be to start building a family, that primal urge has all but disappeared. I’m just not feeling it anymore, and haven’t for well over a year . I’ve gone from feeling like building a family was my #1 desire and priority to now being indifferent or even negative about the idea. I find myself wanting to travel, go out more, be independent, and really just enjoy life for a few more years at least. And then see how I feel and if I go back to wanting kids.
DH really wants children - as did I when we got married 2-3 years ago - and I’m starting to freak out about the whole thing. I don’t want to be selfish and string him along, but part of me wonders if in a few months or years, I’ll have another internal shift and regret throwing away an otherwise amazing relationship. Is it fair for me to ask him to give me a year to figure out how I really feel?
Another part of me wonders if the urge to have children was just a blip and this is who I really am and how I’ll feel forever…
Has anyone else been through something similar? Why do you think it’s happening? and how can I know I won’t be filled with regret when I wake up one day single at 40 desperately wanting kids after all?