How do you manage your spending?

[MrAlyakhin]

So we're in a fairly good financial position right now partly because our mortgage interest rate is very low. In the new year we have to remortgage. But that means the consistent monthly overspending has to stop.

We have a bank account that pays the bills and savings and then a second account used for day to day spending. It's this second account that we struggle with. I've started really being aware of what's in it. To the point of questioning what DH is buying, which he hates, and DH would never moan at me for spending anything on myself. The reality is we need to be more careful as we're constantly using savings to cover costs.

This isn’t how I would do it but in your shoes I would work out what you would be comfortable spending out of your second account and move the rest into a savings account so it’s less likely to be used.

Do you put money in savings every month? If you do and then you have to take some out are you putting too much in? What's the overspend going on, is it essentials or luxury items?

It depends.
what you are questioning...

"Why is she food shop £130 its normally about a hundred...." probably unreasonable

"Did you really need to spend £96.80 at Gail's in the last months? We are trying to reign in spending. Maybe we should get thermal cups for coffee on the go" ... fair enough

"Why are there 6 random eBay purchases totalling £150 over the last 6 weeks?" (In my case my dh buying more fucking football shirts... also fair enough.

It’s mind over matter.
If you are going in to savings to cover bills then that’s not great.
You need to realistically work out basic bills, then save if possible and then depending on how you both feel split the rest 50/50.

All bills come out of my main account in the week after payday & I move savings money & money for essentials (groceries, cat supplies etc) into 2 different accounts.

Then what’s left in my main account is for day-to-day spending, birthday presents & so on. I check it daily so I always know what’s left.

I think part of our problem is it's debatable what's essential or not. DH hates that despite both of us earning good wages we're having to watch the bank account. Individually each spend seems reasonable. But it adds up, and what starts off as a very healthy looking pot, quickly goes.

We do save a lot but we need to. The mortgage will go up by a lot so I don't want to have to learn to live with the extra. The house is expensive and needs work plus our kids are getting to university age and we'll be expected to cover some of their costs.

Why not separate out
bills (including new mortgage amount) , car, etc
cat food
agreed savings
groceries.
any other regular payment

Then split the spare between you, in different accounts?

We have a monthly spreadsheet and every penny we spend goes in it, it's a pain to do but it's easy to see where you're money goes. We are fortunate we don't need to keep a close eye on spending but we keep an eye on what we are buying and if we are starting to fritter a lot on crap it's easy to see and we reign it in. Some months we might take a bit out of savings if it's been a mega expensive month but as long as we know why we've had to do that, it's all good. If it's just because we've wasted the money on lots of little things we take stock.

Can you give examples of debatable essentials and we can see how it feels ?

I would have minimal essentials , an automatic saving amount and then split the rest between you but if someone uses essentials pot for their own spend it gets tricky- although that should only happen with the supermarket shop really - most things should be on direct debit so the essentials should only be supermarket and petrol/travelcard?

Maybe if you had 4 bank accounts. 1 for mortgage, electricity, gas, council tax, water rates, home maintenance, fuel for work, Internet/Netflix etc and food and things for DC like clubs, clothes and pocket money etc. 1 for an agreed set amount of spending money for you and one for equal spending money for DH and 1 savings account so if any money left it gets saved until it is really needed. That way both you and your DH can't overspend on personal things but your spending money would need to cover this GS like your mobile contract/SIM card, clothes, lunches/coffees out, hair/nails, gifts for each other.

I've recently reduced my internet package and saved £78 pcm but I've had to sign up for another 2 years and I no longer have Sky Movies or Sport in bedroom only on 1 box in sitting room.

You need personal spending money accounts.
Work out a sensible amount for you each, should be equal amounts. Transfer this to accounts in your own names and no one is accountable to the other for buying too much yarn or too many new football tickets.