Mum in hospital, dad not taking his tablets

[SackedByaSpoon]

I genuinely don't know what to do. My mum is in hospital and my dad is home alone. He's 80 and tbh I think he's starting to get dementia. He will not take his tablets (including some for seizures that he must not miss) and thinks the entire thing is a joke. I've tried putting them out for him, setting timers, phoning him to remind him to take them and then when I go next he hasn't. He's also lying about taking them - he'll tell me he's had them and when I check he hasn't.

It's three times a day and short of visiting 3x, I'm not sure what to do. I work and have kids, my sister also works and has a chronic illness and getting there (especially for his bedtime ones) is a struggle.

Thinking of giving his GP a ring tomorrow but is there anything else I can do?

Thank you

Hello OP. It’s a difficult situation. You might find help on the Elderly Parents board. Report your thread, and mmhq can move it there for you.

You need to put a care package in place. Depending on their finances they may need to pay privately for this. Phone their local adult social care for advice.

How long is your mum expected to be in hospital for? It's unfortunately common that when one partner is hospitalised, the problems they've been masking in the other one become apparent.

As @onlytakesaminute says you need carers to come in. Ring or email his local adult social services department and say his spouse is in hospital and he urgently needs a care assessment as he's not safe alone.

Contact adult social services... They may be able to do short term respite care.

Thank you. I'll ring both tomorrow and hopefully get something in place. Not really sure when mum will be out - she has a few things going on but the main is copd with a chest infection so she's on all sorts of antibiotics.

It’s possible that the GP may be able to arrange for a district nurse to call to give your dad his pills. When my mum was first developing dementia, she regularly forgot her pills, including her warfarin which had to be taken at around the same time each day, and she was also on a high dosage of gabapentin which caused huge problems when she missed them. Her GP was able to arrange for the district nurse to go in twice a day, and changed her medication regime and dosages slightly so thst she only needed to take them twice a day. It was an amazingly reliable service but I know it’s something that isn’t available in a lot of areas. My mother in law also developed dementia and for several months I rang her to remind her to take her pills but things progressed quickly and she couldn’t understand how to take them, and kept tidying them away. We had to use a care agency to go in to give her medication to her, and even though it was only a few minutes, we had to pay for a half hour visit each time. It was quite difficult to find a care agency who would do just 30 minute visits rather than an hour, but we were able to set the visits up quickly.

Just wanted to update this - he's currently in hospital as well unfortunately.

Tbh I think it's the best thing for him because he absolutely wasn't coping on his own at home.

It might be a blessing OP, if he’s in hospital too. At least they will ensure he’s fed, has enough fluids and is medicated. I feel for you, I’ve been where you are, and it’s a horrible, worrying place. Just look after yourself too, I didn’t because I was so anxious about my parents, so don’t be me.💐