Peri menopause and shocking mental health

[PMohmywtf]

Trigger warning.

For reference, I've been to the GP-they threw antidepressants at me and basically said get over it.

I'm looking for any help or advice I could access outside of that.

As a teenager (15-21) puberty hormones did a number on me, I had horrifically poor mental health characterised by booze, drugs, a lot of very inappropriate sex and self harm (mainly cutting). I was given antidepressants and a bit of talking therapy and I got better. I assumed the treatment had worked, but on reflection, I think I literally just grew out of it- my hormones settled down and my mental health stabilized and I didn't need the coping mechanisms any more.

Fast forward to 12 months ago. I'm 42 and Peri menopause has hit big time. At first it was apathy and lethargy but now I'm genuinely concerned for my own wellbeing. I can't trust myself to go out and have a drink, I've already scouted out the office drug dealer (fwiw I'm in a high paying professional job) and I'm a liability to myself and others on a works night out, whether I drink or not.

At 17 it was annoying and dangerous and I thank God that nothing really bad ever happened to me, but a 42yo wife and mother of 2 is a whole other level.

Would hrt accessed privately help? I definitely think it's hormones so I'm not sure therapy would help but may give me more appropriate coping mechanisms which it turns out I just never learnt.

I honestly feel like I'm watching myself press the self destruct button on my life in slow motion but I can't stop myself. I need help.

Menopause is not the issue

Alcohol and drug taking is the issue

Do you have a partner?

Yes.

Except I'm not currently drinking or taking drugs. I've not taken drugs in over 20years and stopped drinking when all this started .

Maybe reread your own op

. I can't trust myself to go out and have a drink, I've already scouted out the office drug dealer (fwiw I'm in a high paying professional job) and I'm a liability to myself and others on a works night out, whether I drink or not.

You need to tell them the above

Agree with PP that the alcohol and drug use are important issues to deal with, separate to perimenopause.

Sorry I don't have any helpful advice but I wanted to say that women with a history of hormonal related depression (PMDD, PND) do seem to be more susceptible to having a tough time in perimenopause. I'm in that category myself.
I also wanted to say that the relationship between hormonal mental health issues and other underlying mental health issues - like bipolar, depression etc - isn't well understood and treatment pathways aren't always clear. I believe there's a women's hormonal mental health unit at Maudsley in London.

I'm under forty, and tick nearly all the peri boxes. I went to the doctor's with a written list of it all. I quoted NICE guidelines at them when they offered a blood test (hormones are too variable so it's not a good indicator) and the guidelines are to treat the symptoms regardless of blood tests, so if you ask for HRT and tick all the boxes, they should give it to you.

You have to insist. I even said to the nurse practitioner, sorry to sound like a pushy dick, but I absolutely cannot go on without at least trying HRT, I cannot leave this surgery without a solution, and if you can't help give me one, I want notes written up as to why not.And then they prescribed it.

Go back to the doctor's and go armed, with lists, NICE guidelines, fucking cry if you have to.

Don't take drugs. It could cost you your children. And your self respect. Social services would get involved. Just do not.

Also explore things like ADHD, root causes such as genetic nutrient deficiencies that affect your brain chemistry. These things can get worse in menopause and you might have been undiagnosed always with depressive and risk taking behaviours.

Thank you. This is really helpful.

To everyone else, to be very clear, I am not currently taking drugs and I have stopped drinking. I'm still a fucking liability though. I've now stopped going out because I just don't trust myself, but I'm not sure being a hermit is good for mental health either!

My husband is fantastic and is aware of how I'm feeling.

I need practical advice on how to get support, which some have given which is great, so thanks for that.

This makes sense. I did have terrible PND following both children but was short lived thankfully.

So you seeking out the office drug dealer?

Scouted out. Not sought out. As in I know who he is.

And if you haven’t taken for two decades, then that is very concerning and I hope you’ve told your partner this detail

So when you say you have scouted out the office DD… was does that mean?

The OP is asking for support, not thinly disguised jabs at calling her a liar.

OP - I’m right there with you - and I gave a shit home life on top.

HRT (refuse to leave the GP until you get a prescription), being a little selfish with your time (so doing positive things for you) and getting it into nature helps me - I’ve dived into looking after my skin and hair, bought an Apple Watch to monitor my activity and sleep and set myself goals, getting at least 8 portions of fruit and veg, collagen supplements, planning noce days out, and generally focusing on things that I enjoy has helped me

I not going to reply to you further.

Thanks.

They are not even thinly disguised 😆.

Yeah so I'm going to go back to the GP armed with more info.

I joined the gym too - and that was helping immensely until my undercarriage decided to fall out.

I was just reading a Substack post about how women's mental health can be impacted by peri/menopause and how poorly it is understood and considered by Doctors (and examples of being prescribed antidepressants only but that not working.)
According to that writer the answer is HRT so definitely agreeing with PP.

I would definitely insist on HRT. It was a life changer for me.

Hi OP. I didn't have teenage MH problems, but I did have really bad post-natal anxiety and panic attacks, which I recovered from, but which had begun to resurface in perimenopause. I don't know if this works for everyone, but I did a bit of googling and started taking and Ashwagandha supplement. Within a week the anxiety symptoms were gone. It was honestly like magic. All the real-life sources of anxiety were still there, but it was as if my ability to overreact to them had just been switched off like a light.

It sounds as if your MH symptoms are different from mine (apathy and lethargy rather than anxiety), but Ashwagandha or other supplements might help. It's either that or go back to antidepressants, I guess.

Op, yes HRT will be hugely helpful to you - pay privately to see someone good rather than a dismissive GP. Also be mindful that many women get diagnosed later in life with ADHD once peri sets in as the drop in estrogen levels can impact much more on areas of your emotional/ cognitive that you have usually developed strategies for over the years. Good luck it’s resolvable, HRT is brilliant when done properly x

I do also get awful anxiety so I'll give it a go. I'm already taking the anti depressants.