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Original poster

When did you start dating after divorce?

14 replies

hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 09:13

Is there a certain amount of time you should wait? Does this change if you have children? (Of course, I would not be introducing any future partners to DC for a minimum of 6 months or until I was confident it was serious)

I’m still in my 20s and have a young child under 2. I am prioritising my child and then finding myself again, but equally I ultimately want partnership, a larger family and someone to share a future with.

The separation of me and my ex H was probably on the cards for a while before it happened. He wasn’t treating me very nicely and I left when I discovered he’d cheated on me.

How long did you wait and did that relationship work out?

OP posts:
NotMyStory · 18/10/2025 09:18

I'd been with my 1st husband for 17 years. We had a 5yo & 2yo. He instigated the split, which blindsided me.

I started getting closer to someone I already knew about 1 year later, although just as friends at that point. It became a relationship about 6m later. We subsequently married.

Original poster
hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 09:24

NotMyStory · 18/10/2025 09:18

I'd been with my 1st husband for 17 years. We had a 5yo & 2yo. He instigated the split, which blindsided me.

I started getting closer to someone I already knew about 1 year later, although just as friends at that point. It became a relationship about 6m later. We subsequently married.

Thank you! So pleased for you

OP posts:
blobby10 · 18/10/2025 09:26

Split after 20 year marriage 3 teens - all amicable -he started dating again after 6 months but it took me 18 month to have a look on some dating apps. I met my partner within a few weeks and was with him for just over 5 years until he died suddenly. That was 3 years ago and I just cant face it again.
I think everyone is different and it depends on who you are, your age, your stage of life and that you just need to do what feels right for you and not stress about what others are thinking.

Dolphinnoises · 18/10/2025 09:27

How are you feeling in yourself? If you’re still very bruised you’re likely to attract unpleasant men. If you’re feeling good about yourself, and there’s someone you can leave your DC with for an evening that they feel secure with, go for it…

NotMyStory · 18/10/2025 09:29

I should add, at about the year mark I had tentatively started looking at online dating - browsing really.
After several months I was chatting to a couple of blokes and it was arranging a 1st date with one of these which prompted my then friend to ask me out. I cancelled the online date and went on a date with my friend instead.

Original poster
hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 12:57

Dolphinnoises · 18/10/2025 09:27

How are you feeling in yourself? If you’re still very bruised you’re likely to attract unpleasant men. If you’re feeling good about yourself, and there’s someone you can leave your DC with for an evening that they feel secure with, go for it…

Tbh actually fine!

OP posts:
Original poster
hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 13:17

blobby10 · 18/10/2025 09:26

Split after 20 year marriage 3 teens - all amicable -he started dating again after 6 months but it took me 18 month to have a look on some dating apps. I met my partner within a few weeks and was with him for just over 5 years until he died suddenly. That was 3 years ago and I just cant face it again.
I think everyone is different and it depends on who you are, your age, your stage of life and that you just need to do what feels right for you and not stress about what others are thinking.

I’m really sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 18/10/2025 13:22

I split with my ex after 25 years of marriage due to his cheating. I spent a year living and being alone and single (I kept the house), and loving it. Got closer to an existing friend around then and we got together and are still an item now (very happy). So I didn’t do any real dating as such, but was single for just over a year. I would have happily been single a bit longer, I was enjoying it, but sometimes fate steps in!

PeopleWatching17 · 18/10/2025 19:02

hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 09:13

Is there a certain amount of time you should wait? Does this change if you have children? (Of course, I would not be introducing any future partners to DC for a minimum of 6 months or until I was confident it was serious)

I’m still in my 20s and have a young child under 2. I am prioritising my child and then finding myself again, but equally I ultimately want partnership, a larger family and someone to share a future with.

The separation of me and my ex H was probably on the cards for a while before it happened. He wasn’t treating me very nicely and I left when I discovered he’d cheated on me.

How long did you wait and did that relationship work out?

Never!

cadburyegg · 18/10/2025 19:08

Seperated nearly 5 years. Divorced nearly 2 years. Kids were 5 and 2, now they are 10 and 7. I have dated but so far, haven’t got anywhere. I’m not very active on the apps because I find it like a part time job, and don’t get many matches mainly because I’m very picky now. Not much chance of me meeting someone “offline” as I have my kids 80% of the time. It’s not a priority right now to be honest.

DoubleEspressoForMe · 18/10/2025 19:15

I'm 5.5 years in and I'm still single. One dd age 7. By choice, I'm not enormously interested. It's an absolute cesspit out there.

washinwashoutrepeat · 18/10/2025 20:06

NotMyStory · 18/10/2025 09:18

I'd been with my 1st husband for 17 years. We had a 5yo & 2yo. He instigated the split, which blindsided me.

I started getting closer to someone I already knew about 1 year later, although just as friends at that point. It became a relationship about 6m later. We subsequently married.

Similar story. New DP and I have been together for a year now. Haven’t introduced to each others DC in this capacity yet, but we are all friendly and know each other so not too worried. Just wanted to be sure that it was going to work out before we tell them.

we have talked about marriage etc in the future and I am sure it will happen

Pherian · 18/10/2025 23:59

hoorayforfriday · 18/10/2025 09:13

Is there a certain amount of time you should wait? Does this change if you have children? (Of course, I would not be introducing any future partners to DC for a minimum of 6 months or until I was confident it was serious)

I’m still in my 20s and have a young child under 2. I am prioritising my child and then finding myself again, but equally I ultimately want partnership, a larger family and someone to share a future with.

The separation of me and my ex H was probably on the cards for a while before it happened. He wasn’t treating me very nicely and I left when I discovered he’d cheated on me.

How long did you wait and did that relationship work out?

How long it takes is up to you. Just really search your soul and think about what you want.

MissRaspberry · 19/10/2025 22:04

I was with my ex husband for 6 years. We split 4 and a half years ago due to cheating and gaslighting behaviour. I filed for divorce soon after I finally ended our relationship but only had the divorce finalised last October due to him purposely not responding to divorce petitions despite him being in a new relationship himself. I met my current partner just under a year after I split from my husband and we're still together 3 and a half years later. We don't live together because quite honestly I prefer my independence but we're happy as we are. Some may say I moved on too fast but my marriage ending was on the cards for quite a while before I got the courage and confidence to end it completely

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