Why oh why is it so tough to start anything these days?

Frynye · 18/10/2025 08:24

I agree. People were so flakey. I’ve stooped organising anything

jokkkshfjjf · 18/10/2025 08:29

Yes!! People are SO flakey now. I play netball and in a busy thriving town we struggle to play a full court each week for training. 30+ women on the books and we’re lucky if we can cobble together 10 a week, it’s often 7 and thus half court. 1 hour a week. The league had to move to a weekday due to people just not wanting to play on weekends (I wa quite relieved about that I have to say!)

Original poster

CharlotteRumpling · 18/10/2025 08:32

I didn't expect many..But out of 25, I thought maybe 3 or 4.

I should point out that all these women are in their 40s or 50s, so no pressing childcare issues. And all live in my area.( it's a neighbourhood group).

OP posts:

Lanva · 18/10/2025 08:41

Yes, it's tough. You have to deliberately reduce the friction. There are some things that can help:

Be completely consistent: don't change times or reorganise things. Stick to a single, consistent time so people can build the habit. You need to move your activity from an option that competes with others to an unconscious habit.
Collect people from their homes. If it's a walking group of people who live around you, organise a circuit to pick people up as the first part. People find it much much easier to participate with this change - you can also really boost participation by facilitating buddies to bring each other.
Stick it out through some sparse events. Just keep showing up - again - build that habit and reliability for everyone.

I've done a lot of community organising and this is what I've learned!

ContraryCurrentBun · 18/10/2025 09:01

I was in a walking group, similar ages. It is still going well but it morphed in to weekends away and evenings out with lots of alcohol so I have just stepped back.

I do think at thats age it’s teen kids, older parents, marriages or relationships being tough. I had a lot of friends divorce in their late forties.

I also think in this new era of people being encouraged to do hat they want and please themselves that’s what they are doing.

theriseandfallofFranklinSaint · 18/10/2025 09:04

Sorry this happened @CharlotteRumpling as it sounds great.

Now my two have both left home, I want some more activities in my life. This has spurred me on to see what's going on in my local area so thank you 😊

AbsentosaurusRex · 18/10/2025 09:57

Lanva · 18/10/2025 08:41

Yes, it's tough. You have to deliberately reduce the friction. There are some things that can help:

Be completely consistent: don't change times or reorganise things. Stick to a single, consistent time so people can build the habit. You need to move your activity from an option that competes with others to an unconscious habit.
Collect people from their homes. If it's a walking group of people who live around you, organise a circuit to pick people up as the first part. People find it much much easier to participate with this change - you can also really boost participation by facilitating buddies to bring each other.
Stick it out through some sparse events. Just keep showing up - again - build that habit and reliability for everyone.

I've done a lot of community organising and this is what I've learned!

Great advice! You can tell you’ve been there got the t shirt!

Mum2twoandacockapoo · 18/10/2025 10:04

Lanva · 18/10/2025 08:41

Yes, it's tough. You have to deliberately reduce the friction. There are some things that can help:

Be completely consistent: don't change times or reorganise things. Stick to a single, consistent time so people can build the habit. You need to move your activity from an option that competes with others to an unconscious habit.
Collect people from their homes. If it's a walking group of people who live around you, organise a circuit to pick people up as the first part. People find it much much easier to participate with this change - you can also really boost participation by facilitating buddies to bring each other.
Stick it out through some sparse events. Just keep showing up - again - build that habit and reliability for everyone.

I've done a lot of community organising and this is what I've learned!

I like the walking bus idea . When people are faced with having to actually let people down to their faces quite often they just go along with whatever it is and a lot of people just need encouragement . Once they do it a few times maybe then you could do meeting points on several streets along the route . If they enjoy it the first couple of times it will get easier for them to come .

Lanva · 18/10/2025 10:09

AbsentosaurusRex · 18/10/2025 09:57

Great advice! You can tell you’ve been there got the t shirt!

Show quote history

Lol yes I do literally have the t-shirt(s).

After a few years, t-shirts always happen. 😂

Netcurtainnelly · 18/10/2025 13:20

CharlotteRumpling · 18/10/2025 08:21

I started a weekly walking group within a larger women's group after a lot of women said they would like one.
25 women signed up.

Predictably, they are all now super busy and unable to attend after I changed timings and venue several times to suit them. I feel like starting any kind of group these days is beyond tough. Just one has turned up.

Agree I've organised things before. Won't do it again. Let someone else do it.

Original poster

CharlotteRumpling · 18/10/2025 13:29

Lanva · 18/10/2025 08:41

Yes, it's tough. You have to deliberately reduce the friction. There are some things that can help:

Be completely consistent: don't change times or reorganise things. Stick to a single, consistent time so people can build the habit. You need to move your activity from an option that competes with others to an unconscious habit.
Collect people from their homes. If it's a walking group of people who live around you, organise a circuit to pick people up as the first part. People find it much much easier to participate with this change - you can also really boost participation by facilitating buddies to bring each other.
Stick it out through some sparse events. Just keep showing up - again - build that habit and reliability for everyone.

I've done a lot of community organising and this is what I've learned!

I can do 1 and 3 as I walk once a week in that park anyway, but can't do pick up.
It's London. None of use our cars or know where everyone else lives exactly.😁

OP posts:

mindutopia · 18/10/2025 13:37

Is there actually a need for it? A women’s walking group isn’t something I’d join personally. I like walking and I do it often, but I go on my own or with Dh. I wouldn’t walk to meet up with a bunch of random women.

And did people actually enjoy themselves and have things in common? I’ve been to some groups where I walked away thinking, that was painfully boring! Unless people have things naturally in common, the group dynamics may not gel. If I have to do a lot of work to keep conversation going, I’m less inclined to come back. The groups that have really worked have been ones I’ve had something specific in common to talk about.

Original poster

CharlotteRumpling · 18/10/2025 13:40

mindutopia · 18/10/2025 13:37

Is there actually a need for it? A women’s walking group isn’t something I’d join personally. I like walking and I do it often, but I go on my own or with Dh. I wouldn’t walk to meet up with a bunch of random women.

And did people actually enjoy themselves and have things in common? I’ve been to some groups where I walked away thinking, that was painfully boring! Unless people have things naturally in common, the group dynamics may not gel. If I have to do a lot of work to keep conversation going, I’m less inclined to come back. The groups that have really worked have been ones I’ve had something specific in common to talk about.

I expect those who joined the group must have felt a need for it. They weren't forced to join!

OP posts: