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What can I do with preteen DD today?

20 replies

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 05:29

DD has the day off school today. For once her sibling won't be around and I've been looking forward to having some one on one time with her. We were going to go shopping but we actually managed to get what we needed at the weekend. We don't have unlimited funds so would rather not spend on train/lunch and unneeded stuff for the sake of it. DD doesn't even want to go anywhere. When she was little we used to have one day a week at home as a pj day, but as she's getting older I'm worried I've taught her to be lazy. I've asked her what she would like to do and given suggestions, for example walk somewhere for lunch or go on a bike ride but she just wants to catch up in Traitors and watch a film or play video games. I had suggested a day trip to London or down to the seaside but she really wasn't keen, which is why I switched to a short outing just to keep us active. The only thing she was a little keen on was a day out at a theme park but when she realised they had a scare thing going on she didn't want to go anymore. I haven't been sleeping well and she is actually very tired and on the go with starting a new school and all that entails so I'm not sure a whole day out is what we need right now.

Can anyone please suggest what would entice their preteen out? Do I just need to make her come out with me for an hour? We have all day as DP can do the other school pick up, but obviously will give DD time to do what she wants too.

OP posts:
Lemonsugarpancake · 17/10/2025 05:36

She's probably exhausted, it's almost half term. You could make some popcorn and watch a film together. It doesn't need to be anything extravagant to have a nice time. Why would you try to make her go out?

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 05:39

I guess because we are both rather sedentary and need the exercise. We spend a lot of time at home and as I am getting older, I'm starting to worry about the health implications of not moving around enough. We will absolutely do the TV watching and have a nice snack but that's our default setting so it happens frequently.

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ThroughTheRedDoor · 17/10/2025 05:57

Swimming! All kids love a swim don't they?

Cinema? Climbing wall? Bowling?

Have you ever done an escape room? I started taking.mine at about this age. Pick an age appropriate one. It'll be the fastest hour of your life!

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SoManyDandelions · 17/10/2025 06:05

Crazy golf
Duckpin bowling
Walk on the beach with ice cream/fish and chips

Daffydoll · 17/10/2025 06:15

Do a YouTube fitness workout together? Rick Bhullar does some good walking ones to different kinds of music and varying lengths. Not hard to follow at all and good fun?

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 06:18

Some fun ideas I hadn't thought of there, escape room would be up her street but would probably get further with Dad than me and a quick Google tells me they are quite pricey. The climbing and bowling are also pretty pricey when you factor in train travel. We do not live in walking distance to anything but pubs, cafes and a leisure centre. Swimming might be an option, though she has just started wanting to quit her lessons, which I need to sort out asap before she starts to really hate them.

We could do something active inside but then we miss the fresh air part. But she walks to school everyday so maybe that's not so bad. It's just aside from her club tomorrow we probably won't be out all weekend due to people coming over on Sunday and needing to clean the house from top to bottom on Saturday.

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sashh · 17/10/2025 08:03

Go to a zoo? Lots of fresh air and who doesn't like animals?

A walk to one of the pubs for lunch then a film at home?

Wildywondrous · 17/10/2025 08:15

Let her stay at home and watch TV and play video games if that's what she wants to do, it's one day and a treat, why make her go out for a walk or spend money you don't have, she'll be counting down the minutes until she can get home and you'll be there knowing you're making her do something she doesn't want to do.

afternoonwater · 17/10/2025 08:16

Maybe a mani/pedi (not necessarily a full set of nails but just a pamper) and a fancy drink/milkshake?

Rocknrollstar · 17/10/2025 08:17

Baking, cooking, crafts, board games, jigsaws.
Make dinner together.
How about doing a pre-Christmas sort out of books, toys and games that are no longer used?
Why not ask her?

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 08:46

sashh · 17/10/2025 08:03

Go to a zoo? Lots of fresh air and who doesn't like animals?

A walk to one of the pubs for lunch then a film at home?

The zoo is a good idea for another time, we don't have access to a car today. I'm also only just waking up and would want to be leaving by now to make the most of it as the are all over an hour to two hours drive away.

OP posts:
Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 08:49

Rocknrollstar · 17/10/2025 08:17

Baking, cooking, crafts, board games, jigsaws.
Make dinner together.
How about doing a pre-Christmas sort out of books, toys and games that are no longer used?
Why not ask her?

I did ask her and all she wanted to do was stay home on screens. She is currently playing her instrument which is a lovely start to the day. She no longer sees baking and cooking as a treat but would enjoy boards games. Maybe I can see if she'd like to go somewhere and sketch. Sorting toys etc is a good plan for one of the half term days too but she won't see it as a nice thing as she always wants to keep everything!

OP posts:
MumChp · 17/10/2025 08:51

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 08:49

I did ask her and all she wanted to do was stay home on screens. She is currently playing her instrument which is a lovely start to the day. She no longer sees baking and cooking as a treat but would enjoy boards games. Maybe I can see if she'd like to go somewhere and sketch. Sorting toys etc is a good plan for one of the half term days too but she won't see it as a nice thing as she always wants to keep everything!

Why do you ask her then you want to do something else?

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 08:54

MumChp · 17/10/2025 08:51

Why do you ask her then you want to do something else?

I asked her what she wanted to go out and do since the theme park wasn't an option. She never wants to go out anywhere but does enjoy it when we are there. Same as me really.

OP posts:
MumChp · 17/10/2025 08:57

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 08:54

I asked her what she wanted to go out and do since the theme park wasn't an option. She never wants to go out anywhere but does enjoy it when we are there. Same as me really.

But why ask if you aren't prepared to do what she asks?
She clearly has another opinion than you decision så either take a decision or do what she wants.

NerdyBird · 17/10/2025 08:59

Does the leisure centre have a cafe? A nice drink might be just enough to get her to go for a bit of a swim.

Rebootnecessary · 17/10/2025 09:01

Walk to a cafe for a hot chocolate and take a board game or pack of cards with you and play a game while you are there.

BlindSpotForCats · 17/10/2025 09:05

My Dcs are similar in that they like alot of downtime. What I do when we really need to go out;

  1. Visit the local donkey sanctuary or other animal sanctuary
  2. Cinema followed by pizza hut. With the added advantage that we can get the bus so I can have a glass of wine
  3. Trampoline park followed by a cafe lunch

Um- that's it really!

Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 09:05

MumChp · 17/10/2025 08:57

But why ask if you aren't prepared to do what she asks?
She clearly has another opinion than you decision så either take a decision or do what she wants.

I am prepared to do it for some of the day, but I'm not sure most parents would allow for six hours non stop screen time and eating. I was offering to take her out for the day but if she didn't want a day trip I was trying to find a small outing that she'd be happy to do do
Even if it was a half hour walk or a bike ride to a cafe or pub. She wasn't keen on my ideas so it's been good to get a few more and have some in the bank for next time.

OP posts:
Littlebittiredoflife · 17/10/2025 16:49

If anyone was invested we spent the day at home on various screens but spending together and things we could interact on and a bit of indoor exercise. She'll be out for her club briefly tomorrow and then a full week of school before half term where I have a few bits planned. At least she still wants to spend time with me!

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