Being better at mornings

[Alarmcl0ck]

So I'm a lone parent to a toddler, he's been in a pre pre nursery place since Sept which he's really loving but I'm really struggling with the morning routine.

I work long, late shifts during the week which is the only thing i have childcare for and I sometimes don't sleep particularly well if I'm stressed which happens from time to time with how busy my job is or if ds wakes up through the night which is fairly often, but I'm just absolutely exhausted every morning and we're regularly running late as a result. Before we got this pre pre place I had no deadline to have ds in for so I really enjoyed having a slow breakfast and a bit of time with him before I would drop him in mid morning (about 10) and then go on to work, especially because I don't see him awake then again until the next morning if it's a day I'm on late shift . It also meant I was missing rush hour traffic. However now it takes us at least 30 minutes to get to nursery before 9 so I'm working 9.30 or 10am to 11pm, then coming home to get things organised and then I'm up again at 6.30 to get ready and I'm struggling to drag myself out of bed.

I don't know if this level of tiredness is normal, when my alarm goes off sometimes I'll be tired enough to fall back asleep or I can't convince myself to get up because I'm too tired to think properly about how long things will take me to do. There's been some days in work I've been so drained/exhausted I've used my toil to go home to sleep for an hour before I have to collect ds again. I can't remember the last time I woke up and felt rested or was able to have a lie in past 8am.

I'm very organised and have everything sitting ready for both of us the night before so it's just a case of getting up, washed, breakfast and in the car but we're still 5/10mins late a lot of mornings which I absolutely hate and find really stressful and embarrassing. Obviously at the minute he's only little but I just keep thinking about what it'll be like when he's at school or whether any other children are coming in after 9 the way he is, I don't want him to be missing out or starting his day in a disjointed way. I just get so frustrated with myself why I find it so hard to just suck it up and get on with it, I feel like I'm letting him down.

I have exactly the same issue I will check back later when people have given tips’ but I am flailing at any kind of organization or life admin it’s hard

I’m a lone parent too since my boy was 2, and just want to say go easy on yourself!

You’re doing amazingly well to be functioning, having everything ready the night before, holding down a job and lone parenting - it’s a huge amount to handle.

5-10 minutes late is not a big deal.

You’re finding it hard because it IS hard.
It will get easier as your DS gets older and can do more for himself. (Mine is 12 now - way easier than the toddler years).

With the tiredness, have you been through a breakup or anything recently? That can be incredibly draining on top of everything else.

Try to get as much sleep/rest as you can. I find yoga nidra really helpful when I’m drained (Ally Boothroyd on YouTube is good, search ‘bone deep sleep’). 30 mins of that can leave you feeling more refreshed than a whole night’s sleep.

Yeah in the process of a stressful divorce and relocated, change of job etc within the last year so I get that stress is likely a big part of the exhaustion as well, but I feel like I'm doing what I can to manage that eg regular counselling and I workout when I get the time, it's just hard to do much for myself consistently so ds and I go walking a lot at the weekend because i find that helpful and he enjoys it too.