Mum (baby) friends?

[catndog25]

I'm a first time mum to an almost 3 month old and I'm so lonely.

I've put myself out there and tried going to different groups like mums and tots but found the people there are either are already there with their own friends or as I experienced in one group, when their friend group appeared late a mum I was chatting to then moved away and talked to them instead (which is fair enough but if it were me I'd of tried to include everyone) so I was just then sitting alone. As my baby is so small they aren't even into toys yet so I can't play with them as such like some of the toddler mums do.

It's really put me off trying other mums and tots because it takes a lot to walk in alone to begin with, to then be by yourself. We are signed up to some different structured classes due to start in a few weeks but worry it'll be the same thing.

My own friends have older children and work full time and I have no family local. All I want is someone to maybe go for a coffee or walk with once a week or something like that.

One older lady I did speak to at a group who was minding her friends child praised the mums and tots groups because her teenage children are all still friends with those they met at groups when they were babies. I'd really love that for my little one.

Anyone any suggestions?

I went along to a few events that were specifically focused on mums socialising - Mum Club run some, Baby Talk do them too. I also went along a NCT coffee morning, which you didn't need to be a member to attend. Not sure where you are in the country but maybe look for something similar? People generally went along to these sessions to have a chat with someone new, unlike general baby classes where I found mums were more likely to have a mate they booked with.

And it's totally fair to feel lonely and want to fix that. But please try not to worry about friendships for your little one yet - there are so many years ahead for that!

I would try baby massage course, as you sign up to a course the same people go and your child is the perfect age for it. Then mum and baby swimming too.

Aw I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. I had a much better time at classes as you see the same people each week. After a few weeks, ask if anyone fancies a coffee and see what happens - I’m always pleasantly surprised at how many people are actually quite keen to socialise! Your baby is also still really young - it gets much easier once they are a few months older and interact a bit more, and even more when they’re toddlers and play with each other. I’ve made lots of mum friends now (having had zero at the beginning) but they were mostly made after my DC was six months or so (and also involved trying out lots of different groups). Have you heard of the app peanut? I met one really good friend on there. It’s not always easy putting yourself out there but everyone is in the same boat.

I really sympathise with this. I found all the mums were on their second children and didn't want / need a new friend. I have found that now DC is 3 and interacts with other children we have made a few friends.

I kept going to groups/classes while I was on maternity leave, as it was winter and I liked the structure of getting out of the house and doing something.

Thanks everyone, it's helpful to see I'm not alone with feeling this way. I do think part of it is because my little is still so young but then again, there has been a fair number of other little ones at the groups.

I've never heard of the peanut app but will look into it! Going to just keep going along and see where we end up, if anything my little one will have fun!