Is this secondary tokophobia or not?

[secondarytok]

I have an intense fear of pregnancy (also birth but more pregnancy) after a hideously traumatic experience in the past. I want another baby but the fear of pregnancy:birth (80:20) is making things impossible. I tried to ask the gp for a referral for therapy but was told tokophobia is fear of birth and so I don’t have that but I’m sure it covers pregnancy too? I have a history where this sadly led me to have a TOP due to the fear but I can’t shake off the wanting another .

Firstly I need advice on how to access help for this I know the nhs is stretched and the gp probably can’t refer for general anxiety (which is what they’ve diagnosed me with ) but I think it’s secondary tokophobia and secondly has anyone had this and managed to overcome it?

What is a TOP?

Termination of pregnancy

I think this is something that you should see a hypnotherapist for and pay privately as the NHS are only going to offer a limited counselling session if anything and you probably would have to wait a long while.

Do you actually want another? Why not stop at 1. That’s what I did I wasn’t going to put myself through it all over again

Seems like quite a sensible thing to be nervous about tbh. Maybe just stop at one?

There should be an NHS Talking Therapies offer where you live. If you google ‘NHS Talking Therapies Name of place you live’ it should give you details and how to self refer. Waiting times round me (South East) is about six weeks.

Hi OP, so sorry you are going through this. Do you have a Maternal Mental Health Service in your area? They work with birth trauma and baby loss, and it sounds like you would be eligible for therapy with them. You can normally self-refer. They are all slightly different but most offer psychological therapy and also midwifery to support with birth planning if you get pregnant.

Thanks I will check

I’m not sure I will check with the hospital as I was thinking about a birth debrief at some point perhaps it’s the same department . I’m just feeling so low it’s almost like I have totally opposing things I want yet I can’t have what I want without going through the other. I can’t even explain the panic it’s totally consuming ☹️

This- and request to see someone who has perinatal experience. Trauma focussed CBT or EMDR is something that is helpful for trauma. Once that has been resolved, if you need further therapy for fear of pregnancy/ birth and experienced therapist will be able to advise. Please ensure you seek appropriate intervention- some evidenced based trauma therapy. Some maternal mental health /perinatal services do not accept direct referrals, so NHS TT is a good place to start.

These teams are separate from the birth reflections/ debrief services offered by the hospital (usually by a midwife). Where abouts are you? You can just Google your area plus MMHS.

N London

https://www.northlondonmentalhealth.nhs.uk/talking-therapies/

You'll be under Maple then
https://www.northlondonmentalhealth.nhs.uk/service-details/service/maple-service-maternal-mental-health-service-115/