Work Behaviour

[TheHazelCrow]

Hello.

Im feeling really silly and stupid for feeling like this, but I need somewhere to vent..

Ive returned to work after being away on Mat Leave. Ive gone back to my same job (...the following things im listing on ahead have been this way since before I went on leave, and even before I fell pregnant - I worked through all of this when I was pregnant too) ....

For context i work in a pharmacy, with roughly about 7 people in work durin a shift. Basically I feel like im being bullied in some ways/im being singled out by certain people that I work with; there's 3 of them. They're all female, & we're all within the same age group. I dont feel like I am liked, or wanted there, or included within there. I feel like ive been talked about behind my back. Although I cant prove this.

*There's no Hello/Goodbye from them, if there is its usually because ive said it first.
*Im excluded from their conversations, & there's no attempts from them to involve me.
*When I do bring up something to talk about i dont get much back from them.
*There's often silent atmospheres/vibes from them, & not that I watch or stare at them but I can sense that theyre giving eachother looks about me. (I know that sounds so petty, but it's very discreet the way that theyre doing it.)
*I have worked there the longest out of all of them, yet while ive been back at work, one of them in particular has delegated to me about when I should take my break, or certain tasks that need to be done (she is the same job title as me; she is not a manager) its almost like im being treated like the New Girl due to being away on Leave.
*Also, during any teabreaks, ive had to listen to them gossiping/bitching about other staff members - basically filling me in about what's gone on in work etc while ive been away.

Ive been on Mat leave for over a year and not one of them has even mentioned my childs name to me or asked about him. Any time i had called in to work with him while being on leave, not one of them has ever acknowledged him. (I know this isn't work related but its still very hurtful as they haven't treated other people from work like this when theyve had their babies).

What should I do? I came home last night crying and i just wanted to curl up in bed and be on my own. Thankfully, I am due to leave at some point soon as I have a new job lined up but no official start date yet.
I dont want to be stuck financially by leaving sooner but working here is making me miserable. It was like this previously before I left on leave and working through it during my pregnancy was unbearable. Has anyone else experienced this type of behaviour within work? How can I handle this in the mean time?

Thank you 🙏

You're not obliged to like/get on with your co-workers, and they're not obliged to like or get on with you.

You're returning after a long break so of course they're going to have gelled in your absence.

You say they exclude you from conversations, but go on to say that they're filling you in on all the office gossip at lunchtime.

Were you friends with them before your leave? Have you told them how you feel?

I would just try to ignore it all since you are planning on leaving soon. I know it's not nice but it honestly could be a lot worse. Just focus on getting your job done, be pleasant to your co-workers but adjust your expectations - they are not your friends. If you distance yourself emotionally you won't find it so hurtful. Hopefully your new job starts soon and it will be a bit friendlier!

In your position, if I was definitely leaving soon, I would spend the entire day with a slight smile on my face,. A happy thoughts smile. Wondering what’s making you so happy will drive them nuts especially if they can’t ask because they are ostracising you. And it might make you feel a bit better too.

why haven’t you got a start date for your new job?

Definitely i agree, I wouldn't particularly choose them to socialise with if we weren't in a work setting. However, its a work setting so I cant see how this behaviour is professional. They fill me in with 'gossip', by bitching about other colleagues. I dont involve myself with having a dig at other people. They constantly complain about one other colleague to me and its almost like they want me to engage with it and slag her off, but no im not that type of person.

Thank you, I will be trying to stay strong until I leave, if anything i can at least hold my head high when I do leave as I know ill be leaving them behind.

Thank you, yes I agree, I do think by completely not engaging with their behaviour & rising above it is the best way to be around them... although it is hard at times being around it all day then knowing that ive to go back to it the following day. Just have to stay strong. I have to get recruitment checks & references approved first before I get a start date, once i get a date ill be handing in my notice

So there you go then. They all enjoy a gossip, they try to get you involved and you refuse to engage.

Women don't work well together generally. They are very tribal and clique-y. If you fit in, you're gold. If you don't, you're going to have a hard time. I've had 3 female managers in my 11 years at my current workplace, they all left either by choice or because they couldn't get along with the boss man. My current manager is a male zoomer and he's basically a woman. Still annoying as hell, doesn't listen and generally a moron. Best to just stick it out imo, especially if you like what you do. This isn't going to last forever.