Tips For Silencing Work Moaners?

[Silencethemoaners]

My workplace is currently feeling a gloomy place to be. Yes, there are some underlying issues but they are not uncommon in the area in which we work. The thing is, people are just not pulling together or having each other’s backs - there is an air of misery and a lack of kindness and understanding. (For context, these are people I’ve worked with since I joined a couple of years ago and nothing of particular note has changed.) There are two particular characters who are prize-winning moaners seeping negativity out of their pores and stoking up discontent.

I’m someone with a generally positive and upbeat nature and I just don’t engage with the cattiness and catastrophizing. In what way can I inject positivity and try to bring people together? I know I’m a small cog in a big wheel but has anyone successfully combatted workplace moaning in their own small sweet way??

I don't think there's much you can do apart from not getting involved and letting your manager know if you feel you can. People who moan, but take no action are corrosive and should probably look for jobs elsewhere if things are that bad.

Thanks for your reply. The two massive moaners are longtime members of staff who are entrenched. I would just like to sprinkle a bit of sunshine to brighten the gloom they bring.

One I find useful is throwing it back in some way - ‘So what do you intend to do about it then?’ Sort of response. If you keep pushing it back on them it’s not as much fun for them to continue.

We all do it but yes the longer you are there the more half empty your glass seems. Just say how long have you been here? Or what could we/you to make it better? A few of my colleagues are like this but that's because of crazy management. Yet many of my colleagues have been there 20+ years. The flip side was a new person started a while back. He came for more money, didn't have to work w/ends or Christmas then our holidays went to 32 days a year plus the bh plus we are closed over Christmas so he was really happy

Thanks - the thing is, they are always spouting about what they would do but they are all mouth and no trousers. They are good in their respective rolls but moan about other functions. I suppose I was hoping for a random act of kindness sort of suggestion to inject some positivity. I ‘kill’ the massive moaners with kindness but it’s others they are draining who need some sort of boost. I am a not a manager but someone who interacts with everyone.

Someone else is always talking about how good the job was 10 or 15 yrs ago when X or Y was there. No it wasn't. X and Y weren't v.good, one was a thief and a serial cheat, the other was just too nice so others took advantage.

They’re known as “well poisoners” - they make it miserable for everyone else and infect everyone with their negativity.

Some of them just love moaning and no amount of cheer or improvements will make a difference. It’s for their manager to deal with. If I was their manager I’d be asking them to be constructive not destructive with their feedback or to keep it to themselves.

Keep being your sunny self, I bet it’s appreciated. And if there are cutbacks you can bet they’ll be first to go.

Do they have reason to moan? Have they been treated unfairly? Do they feel they are not heard in other ways and so moaning is an outlet?

You cant do anything except not engage with it. Don't listen to it, or feed it and don't let it drag you down

I worked with a bunch of moaners for 15 years. Nothing was good enough. It was a great job, fantastic pay, flexible conditions, brilliant opportunities, and not high pressure etc. We were eventually made redundant. I ran into one of the moaners a year later & she was on about how 'we didn't know how good we had it', as she was working twice as hard for half the money & crap conditions. I enjoyed telling her I had known, so that's why I never complained!!

In my current job they don't complain, just leave swiftly as they can't navigate the negative feedback environment. I just ignore it!

You have to just emanate positivity and be the sunshine.

Someone moans - respond with that sounds like quite an exiciting challenge, what ideas do you have to tackle it.

Be the coach, be the motivator, be interested etc.

I would be professional and upbeat but not ram my positivity down someone else’s throat. That can be equally as annoying. It’s called toxic positivity.

Yes, they may be moaning about work but there might be other stuff going on that you’re not aware of that is driving the negativity. You say it’s got worse over time. A lot of people are struggling at the moment. Be nice, helpful and kind but don’t assume you have the full picture.

I’d try shutting down the complaining by pointing out something positive each time. So ‘this new policy is rubbish’ could be met with ‘but isn’t it a lovely autumn day’ or we’re so close to payday’ or ‘only two more days until the weekend’. Or even ‘No, I can’t listen to any more of this, it’s making me want to jump out the window. What can we do to fix it?’

How big is your place? Is it big enough to have some sort of care team? You could encourage people to bring in plants from home, set up some kind of reward and recognition scheme (even if it’s only a whiteboard where people scribble thanks or a global email with a staff newsletter, you could ask management to invest in a tuck shop or the purchase of a decent coffee machine. You could have a mental health training day where you could do mindfulness sessions if you had the budget, or You Tube it if you don’t. You could get the staff involved in something like a photography competition where the winner gets their photo displayed on the wall. A foodie Friday where people bring in their favourite dishes to share. Do you have mental health first aiders? (Essentially just signposting people to places). Is management willing to donate an extra hour for a team meal or buffet if people don’t want to eat out? Could you organise out of office experiences where people get to shadow others in areas of the company they might be interested in working in?

You don’t want to come bowling in to the office calling out ‘Happy Tuesday’ because everyone will hate you. But little positive changes that make the office less of a negative space can only improve things.

@MrsZiggywinkle I’m sure the two major moaners do have stresses and strains in their lives, but I think they are the ones with the lack of awareness. Let’s just say they are very judgemental. I wish everyone could have a little more understanding. I will be mindful that I don’t project toxic positivity…

@WilfredsPies thanks for those suggestions. We do some of them already and I’m semi-involved with the staff wellbeing group. We have been trying to organise something for Christmas but are mindful of how tough things are financially for people. There must be something other than drinks down the pub??

The thing is, even if these particular characters received a massive bonus there would still be something they could moan about!

Exsctly what I do. My workplace is currently exactly the same as OPs atm. We have 2 champion whingers- mainly that they "have so much to do" though if they spent less time moaning and got on with it......🤔 There are underlying issues caused by issues related of one member of staff who is constantly off sick so that's not helping at all. I just annoy the hell out of them by being unbearably cheerful and "well we've all got challenges atm!" Its deliberate on my part as one of the moaners is also the office stirrer/vocally I Work Harder Than Anyone Else- and often only jolly sarcasm does the trick. It drives me mad tbh but when it gets too much I just walk away- as I have plenty of work to do! 😅