What cam is do to help myself with burnout

[Ballfish]

Or just plain lack of motivation?

I worked really hard and contientiously for c. 30 years. During that time I also raised a family and was fully committed to doing that well and ran a home I cared about and was proud of.

Then as I approached 50, none of it mattered any more. Then lockdown came and it mattered even less, DC grew up and DH died and I couldn't find it in me to care about anything. There was no "need" to work hard at anything. I started slacking at work, but no one seemed to notice or care, so even that didn't matter. Eventually I took early retirement, thinking I'd use the time to get fit(ter), get the house and garden in shape and learn something new.

I run and I've stuck with that, so I'm still physically fit, but since I stopped working, even that im less committed to.

I have a million things I could be doing with my time, things I want to do, but I'm not doing them.

Fwiw im on HRT, it's helped a lot with sleep but not with the rest.

I know my phone addiction doesn't help....

I need a plan I can stick to.

Get out n about and join a class or a group that runs for X amount of weeks so you have to stick to it. Try something totally new to you so you’ll meet people you wouldn’t normally meet. Maybe your local college?

I'm sorry for your loss.

Well, on the bright side, you're fit and retired. What interests you? Can you start small, book some things to look forward to, things you'll enjoy to get you out of your rut? A trip to see an old friend? An art gallery or museum? A plane ticket somewhere new?

Is it ennui you're experiencing? A sort of deep down can't be arsed-ness with life? It sounds like it and it sounds like a rut and you do need to get out of it because it doesn't seem much fun! Also get your HRT dose looked at, it might need increasing. You say "other things" re meno symptoms, do you mean anxiety or what?

Make yourself a weekly timetable

eg Monday swimming
Tuesday - art class
Wednesday - so some thing new/different

Make yourself a list of things to do every day

• 20 min walk in nature
• Eat some thing healthy

Seek joy.

You will want to do joyful things. Don’t think about what you should do, what you ought to do.

Think about what you could do that would be joyful, and plan to do it. Little things. As you do more little joyful things your motivation for everything will increase.

So go and choose a lipstick/buy a scented candle/do a brewery tour.
Buy a bunch of flowers/pot plant/blanket.

After a while, you start thinking about cooking better food, decorating the hall, bottoming out a cupboard.

But first it needs to be little joyful things that leave plenty of time for moping on the sofa!

Buy yourself a bunch of flowers every week, gaze at them, and marvel at the miracle of nature that made something so beautiful.

You need a purpose. Get out into nature and the fresh air, and you could maybe volunteer for the wildlife trust or a local English Heritage or NT place.

Can you get more structure in your week, so that you have a few regular things in aside from the running that you don't opt out of even if you feel like it.

Also try to do something every day that you haven't done before. It could be as simple as trying a food or recipe you haven't tried before or walking somewhere you haven't been, even a single road you haven't actually gone down. Another one is to have a photo theme going. I have had huge pleasure from taking photos of swans with their cygnets and taking pictures as they have grown this year in an area I go through regularly. Weirdly doing stuff like this gives you purpose. Eventually you start enjoying yourself again.

All that said it could be worth checking that you don't have a vitamin or iron deficiency of some kind as something just being slightly off can sap you.