Best way to handle separation anxiety with 4 year old

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Hi

Just looking for some advice please. My DS started school last month so it's been an adjustment period for him.

Recently he seems to be suffering a bit from separation anxiety when both parents are not together. Naturally we're not always all three together so if DH is dropping off at school, DS gets upset when I leave for work or at weekends if I arrange an activity for just DS and I, he gets upset his Dad isn't with us.

He's generally a very resilient kid so I try and explain we'll be together again shortly and then try to distract him and make him laugh.

I don't think it's appropriate to dwell on it as inevitable it's only a few hours apart but I want to acknowledge his feelings and not dismiss them.

What's the best way to handle these situations please?

"I understand you miss daddy. Daddy is great, I miss him too. It would be lovely if we could all be together all the time. The problem is then we wouldn't have any money/shopping/food/a clean house/time just for us. So we'll sing daddy a song when we get home and find him a special treasure (e.g. a conker) while we're out".

Aww that's lovely. I do say I miss Daddy too but I love the healthy distraction and promise of fun when we're together again.

It just always happens at the worse times when I'm rushing around.

I reckon there's actually a correlation between him having a wobble and the natural hecticness of family life - it's at that moment he's feeling "what about me? I need two parents!!".

One thing I try to make sure I do it not say "I know you miss daddy but we'll see him later". The "but" subtly diminishes how important his worry is. So that's why I try to explain the problem if that makes sense.

The invisable string book is good in this situtation.

See I need these responses as I always say But...

Thank you, I'll look it up. I've just downloaded an audiobook Parenting Boys Emotions. Hoping that may give some tips.

I'm not claiming that it will work every time. But it's seemed to help my anxious four year old ❤️