Is this lovely, or....

[Bottlefall]

BF (of a year) has just messaged about something we planned to do this evening. It's quite physical and I'm not feeling very well, so I've said I'll see how I feel later. It's a large group thing, it doesn't matter if I go or not, he'd go without me.

He's self employed (I'm not working today) and has replied to say he's got a couple of hours free this afternoon, he can come round for a cuddle and a cuppa. He does mean a cuddle and a cuppa.

He often does this, as if his presence alone can fix all my problems (by which I mean minor set backs)

Is it lovely or something else?

Yeah, I think it shows he cares. If he said he was coming round for a shag then no. But he's saying he wants a cuppa tea and a cuddle. Why don't you think that's lovely? If you don't fancy it you could just say that.

Sounds lovely to me
Really supportive

The fact thatvyou think otherwise is a bit 🚩🚩🚩

i agree with the PP, it shows he cares. Not sure why it wouldn't be lovely??

Taking it at face value, I don’t see the issue. What is your concern with it?

I think it makes him sound lovely.

Unless he's phrasing it as "I will come round" as a definitive statement and it makes you feel can't day no, which isn't how you've phrased it in your OP then it sounds nice and supportive.

If it is that there is a subtlety missing frk your OP and it sounds more like a decided plan rather than an offer that's different.

Sounds nice to me. Is there some sort of undertone or previous experience that makes you think it’s not nice? Does he makes lots of mess or expect you do do stuff (cook, clean before he arrives, sex, etc). My partner likes to be close to me when I’m unwell, which I find a bit weird coz I try to avoid sick people as I catch everything.

I think this is lovely! I’m currently off sick from work, Anne New guy I’m seeing came and picked me up and took me out for a walk and a coffee, it just made me realise what a genuine guy he is!

Probably my main problem with it is overthinking and not being used to someone being there for me.

It's definitely and offer rather than a demand. He'll be fine if I say no and he'll be fine whether I go this evening or not.

He sounds caring and supportive, you don’t want this do you? If you have doubts about the relationship you need to be honest with yourself first.

If I have doubts, it's on "too good to be true?" grounds.

Always good to be cautious, but after a YEAR?

Yeah it’s lovely. I think it’s nice he’d want to show he cares and gives affection like that.

It's definitely and offer rather than a demand. He'll be fine if I say no and he'll be fine whether I go this evening or not.

So what's the problem, then? He's literally just offering you some company and he's not offended if you say no. This is a nice, normal thing and you're vastly overthinking it.

It sounds like a lovely offer. I don't think he's suggesting that his mere presence is going to cure you more that when you feel a bit rubbish it's nice to have a cuddle and a cuppa with someone who cares about you.

This is very much a 'men can't do anything right' situation!

Gosh he sounds like a keeper for sure! When I last had this exact scenario with my now ex (though it was a gig instead), he scowled at me and said he wasn’t going either even though he was originally going with a group of friends anyway!?

Over the next two years he’d then keep referencing this as he believed I wasn’t ill and had gone behind his back somewhere else with another fella 🤦🏻‍♀️. I also noticed he would blank me if I ever complained of an issue (which wasn’t very often).

Hope it works out LT for you!

He sounds lovely and caring. Be careful you don’t self sabotage this by overthinking. MN is full of women who absolutely should overthink the crazy behaviour of their partners. This isn’t that. Enjoy.