Ok this might be rambling but I really feel overloaded, I'm sorry.
I'm with my partner almost ten years. He is a great partner in terms of how he treats me. He is generous, loyal, supportive, kind, does more than half the housework and DC stuff. He is genuinely so good to me.
However he is very difficult in terms of how he lives his life. He takes a chaotic approach to everything. I am sure he undiagnosed ND and it makes his relationships very difficult with family, work, friends. There is far too much to even summarise here.
He also repeatedly loses his (very well paid) jobs and always totally surprised; he's not lazy or stupid but communication is a major challenge; he never seems able to understand what is being said to him.
I've had an enormous cancer battle. It's behind me but the worry of it returning is not.
I am feeling very low at the moment due to upsetting dynamics in my own family. I'm getting therapy. It's hard, really really hard. I'm trying to process a lot of stuff for ths first time ever. I feel worn down with it and don't want to have to support somebody else for once.
My partner has just told me his probation has been extended in his job. I want to get into bed and cry.
Sorry I don't know what I'm looking for here. I just wanted to get it out and I can't talk to anyone else as I can't bear the questions.