How to give your child the best education

[londoner91]

Inspired by another thread.

Assuming you can't afford private school, don't have grammar options, and send your child to a very average school.

What can you do to best support their education and help them grow into confident, happy young adults with plenty of options for a successful career?

• Read for them ( if they are still in primary school).
• Talk with them about the news, about your favourite books, about cooking, and how to do other practical stuff.
• Involve them in the practical stuff so that when they leave home they don't have to learn to cook, learn to do laundry, and learn to handle their own administration while also adjusting to living away from home and to their studies.
• Watch educational telly with them. Like documentaries about history or nature or science.
• Encourage them to read some of the classics.

I used to play a game with my kids where I either said a country and they should say the name of the capital or I said the capital and they should name the country. It wasn't that I interrupted another game or them playing to do this. Ir was when we waited for the bus, or we were going for a long walk and they got a bit bored or something like that. They told me later that they appreciated that I entertained them and that the knowledge had come in handy.

Of course, I didn't just start asking them. First I told them about "funny" names of capitals, how I remembered some of them, I listed the capitals, and I told them that people from other countries become glad when you at least know the name of their capital.

Support them to do the best they can at school. There is no reason someone at an "average" school can't get the same grades as those at private and grammar schools if they have the ability and work hard.

Support their interests
Take them to extracurricular activities
Support them with homework and revision
Provide them with a healthy lifestyle
Listen when they have a problem

Have books in the house and let them see you reading in your spare time, and keep giving them books, naturally.

Find stuff you like to do together.

Give them varied cultural experiences

Support them with age-appropriate independence

Lots of extra curricular interests. Sports, scouting, visiting museums, etc etc. I work on the basis that it’s very hard to find your niche if you’ve never been exposed to it.

Independence, flexibility, resilience. Get them ordering in restaurants young, trying new activities, praise effort and putting themselves out of their comfort zones. No helicopter parenting.

And, sadly maybe, tutoring. Not crazy hot house tutoring, but targeting tutoring to help them really grasp concepts.

Reading. Teach them as soon as they show an interest. It makes accessing knowledge at a young age incredibly easy.

Show how much you value education.

Never use phrases like "I can't do maths" or "I was rubbish at history".

Talk about current affairs.

Ask what they think about things.

Read together.
Ask them to explain what they have learned in school to you.
Go to parents evenings.

Ask their teachers how you can help stretch your DC.

Get them interested in drama, music, art, sport etc do they can share interests with others outside of their immediate circle at school as sometimes friendships can go wrong.

Lots of reading, go to museums, go on hikes in nature, cook and bake together, play games, dance & sing, go to music performances, watch films together, do gardering or painting or whatever you fancy with the child. Like parents have done for years.

If you can do extra curriculum or tutoring do it. Pay attention to school of course.

For a primary school age child or younger, get into a good bedtime routine in which you read them a bedtime story. Reading to your child means that they get to experience books that they might find too hard to read themselves. Hearing a wide range of stories will broaden their vocabulary and knowledge. The fact that you always make time to read them a story shows them that they are loved and important.

If you can possibly afford it, start saving now for when your child goes to university, putting aside a regular amount each month. If you live in England, the maximum maintenance loan that your child can get at university is likely to fall a long way short of what they need to live on. The system generally relies on parents providing a hefty financial top up, but lots of parents only realise that at a point when it's too late to accumulate meaningful savings.

Give them boundaries around gaming and tech from a young age and don’t give in to more demands. Lots of people say their kids had no boundaries and self regulated well but those kids are usually in the minority. Most kids have no boundaries and boys especially, game as teens far too much.
Keep encouraging them read. Especially at secondary school.
Talk to them about current affairs and the world. travel if you can. Have lots of experiences.
Keep them active. That really helps over the teenage years.

Read to them and with them.
Do arts & crafts
Access to a public library and let them roam
Encourage their interests
Be interested and get involved
Lots of different experiences - while ds was at primary we visited places like stonehenge, Avebury, the Thames barrier, natural history museum, local civil war castle ruins, nature reserves, art & photography exhibitions, the local science centre, a police training college, Bletchley, Brecon waterfalls, hawk conservancy. I took him canoing, cycling, swimming, climbing. We shared cooking and interior design, gardening and growing veggies.

When they are little their brains are like sponges so get them out and doing new stuff as often as you can.

And keep them away from social media for as long as you can….

We read to them from day one, basically. We always read more complex books to DD then she was able to do on her own. And don't stop just because they can't wait for themselves, we went to DD until she was 10/11 and still discussed books with her.
Provide variety of books, various topics but also show them that you read as well.
Be interested in what they do in school, check with them, support them, get them to dotheir homework in primary school because that also means you can see what they are up to and if they struggle.
Discuss current affairs, watch TV together and talk about it
Encourage interests. Take them to museums, exhibitions, galleries, be out outside,
Encourage extracurricular activities

Start to put money aside for university or further education/training when they are little.
Read to them, support their learning to read, have lots of books available, visit the library, subscribe to an interesting magazine.
Use maths at home and in real life situations.
Pay attention to what they are learning and back it up with what you choose to do at home - if they are learning about the Egyptians find a local museum with some things to look at.
Support the school with discipline, homework completion, attendance.

Give the child as many opportunities as you can to try lots of extra curriculars and once they find their ‘thing’ support them to pursue it.
Talk about what is going on in the world with them, encourage them to be aware of politics, the environment etc
Be involved in your local community and do something that encourages good citizenship - volunteer at Parkrun, plant some bulbs, do a litter pick.
Be prepared to support academically yourself or via tutoring if they need extra support.

It may well work in your child’s interests in the end. We couldn’t afford private school but were able to put resources into the things above and in the end my son got contextual offers for uni because he was an high achieving student who attended a non selective school.

Look beyond the academics
Extracurricular activities - sports, music, scouts etc
Give opportunities
Encourage curiosity
Get in their world and explore their interests
Develop life and social skills
Solid values - kindness, integrity, respect etc

Ask their opinions on things and demonstrate that what they think, and what others think, matters.
Let them use their bodies for climbing and running etc. Don’t shelter them from perfectly ordinary things.
Feed them a varied, healthy diet.
Talk to them.
Expose them to different experiences so that when they encounter them they can make sense of the world.

As a parent of older girls I would just say support an enquiring mind and look after their health. They will then take their own lead in their education.

I've always thought if the parents find joy and interesting in the world around them be it space ,disnrours ,books, culture then then children will.

Get tutors in if the child is slipping and help them find something they are really good at.

Give them variety of experiences in lots of ways. PPs have covered it well.

When DS went to secondary, one of his teachers was thrilled to find out that he was into Warhammer and running and said that so many of the boys have no interests beyond gaming.

I'm not anti-gaming, but any one thing in extremis is not great. They're allowed to watch youtube on the main TV which a) means I get the feel of their algorithms and b) means that I've learned what they're interested in. I've learned to play Minecraft with them and they've appreciated teaching me and me being interested in their world which has been really positive for our relaionship.

My two have the complications of issues like dyslexia (and more) and it's a reason why things can be harder or take more time to master, but it's not an excuse not to try. That knowledge helps support their self esteem. They're not stupid or failing, their brains just do it differently.

Praise effort rather than focusing too hard on outcomes.

Give them space to learn how to fail safely before the bigger stakes happen in the later part of childhood. Learning from errors is powerful.

Talk to each other. I'm a big fan of dinner time at the table. Car journeys are good for side by side conversations.

As a teacher, the hardest pupils to teach are the ones with no curiosity, ideas and too afraid of failing to try.
It doesn't have to come from big, expensive, "Educational" experience.