DS age 21 lacking direction and focus. Where to go for advice?

[Snooks1971]

Just as the title says really.

A quick rundown…
DS now just turned 21 only completed one year of an Agricultural related BTEC a few years ago. So lacking in qualifications??

Since then he has tried a variety of different things, painting and decorating with an established local decorator (not a formal apprenticeship) which lasted around 6 months.
Worked in New Zealand for 6 months (hospitality).
Various warehouse manual jobs, usually seasonal and temporary.
Works sporadically at festivals for a local company who do the food truck thing which he loves.

We don’t know where to suggest him to go for advice, he seems a bit rudderless, doesn’t know what he wants to do and we don’t know what to suggest.

PS he hasn’t passed his driving test yet!! This to me is a huge obstacle. We can help to pay for yet more lessons but he’s not actively learning at the moment.

Perhaps he will find his way on his own but I worry that he’s lost his way. He isn’t depressed, we talk about that stuff.

Any organisations that could give him help/advice/focus?
I know of the Kings Trust.

Thankyou.

Is he currently working ( any job, not necessarily his future career) and bringing in money to help to pay for his keep?

If he is then say to him that lots of people don’t decide their path in life straight away and that is fine , but you are proud that he is behaving like a responsible adult and showing that he understands that as an adult he needs to accept responsibility for supporting himself.

If he isn’t then say to him that lots of people don’t decide their path in life straight away and that is fine BUT he needs to behave like a responsible adult and understand that as an adult he has to accept responsibility for supporting himself so needs to find a job or jobs that mean he can contribute to pay for his keep, his phone, his entertainment etc etc.

Is he happy? Does he want a career? Or does he just want to earn enough to live? What does he do in his spare time? Does he have friends and relationships?

He doesn't need to decide on a career path now or even ever. As long as he isn't freeloading off anyone or unhappy with his situation I would just leave him be.

I agree with others, maybe he isn’t ready for a career at the moment, but he does need to earn his own way

Catering courses at college ?

If he enjoyed the food truck

I think he has no real “need” because you are letting him live at a reduced cost to what it would be in the real world. Why would he find his calling if he doesn’t have to worry about paying rent and putting food on the table?

he could run his own food truck but it sounds like he is not responsible enough, nor aware how important it is to budget.

I have a DD who doesn’t know what she wants to do.

i have said that your early twenties is a time to try things out and see what works for you. Sounds like your DS has done that a bit - decorating and travelling.

if he loves the food truck then a catering vocational qualification might be good? They’re hard jobs to do though - long hours and hard physical work.

Thank you everyone.
OK he doesn’t pay any rent to us, but, we haven’t actually given him any money for the past 2 years approximately. He earns enough to cover going out, clothes, food that I don’t buy on the weekly shop etc.
He isn’t sponging, oh yes we did help with his Visa and flights to NZ but he earned money over there the entire time.

A big part of me (DH thinks this too but I’m the worrier) is to leave him be and he will work it out himself. I like to problem solve.

Yes this is so true

So many don’t know what they want to do.
I think my question is: where to go for “career” advice?
Does this advice exist?

National careers service? There are on line tools to help identify strengths-.

Haven’t heard of that thankyou!

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk