Why can't I manage a normal nights sleep

[Badger32]

I fall asleep ok , usually by 8pm I am asleep,or 9pm ... because I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open ..
But by 12 midnight ISH I am awake again ,and I'm usually wide awake untill 5 am ,where I sleep well for an hour and a half before the alarm goes off .
Which is why by 8 pm I'm so tired I can't stay awake any more .
DH works shifts ,so for example he came home at 12 ,and now he's in the bed , snoring and breathing and farting ,I've even less chance of getting back to sleep
I'm 52 ,so maybe I just need less sleep
Years ago when the DC were tiny ,I'd get up in the night and clean the house or move the furniture around..now I just go on mumsnet
I feel so stuck in this routine.

Do you sleep any better when you're not sharing a bed? Doesn't sound super relaxing tbh

Yes .when he's on nights it's bliss .
3 kids still live at home ,so no chance of my own room ..and he'd be really against that as well

If I fall asleep first before him ,I usually get 4 hours in ,but if he falls asleep first ,I've no chance and often don't get the first 4 hours .
This is also why I go to bed very early at any opportunity,to try to grab some sleep without him there .
But that doesn't explain why I always wake up after 4 hours and I'm wide awake for the rest of the night .
Currently just listening to him snore

Ah I feel for you. I can't sleep well next to my DH either but we are lucky to have a spare room. I would honestly be considering a sofa bed in the lounge! Even if it's not every night. You don't need me to tell you it's very bad for your long term health to have such poor sleep.
(Also I can't understand people like your DH who insist on sleeping with their DPs, you're asleep, who cares! Guess it's easy for the people who can sleep through a hurricane)

If he's not there do you still wake up at midnight? Or sleep through?
If you sleep all night when he's not there I would try good quality earplugs and an eye mask to minimise disturbance as it's likely the sound and presence of someone else keeping you up - although I'm guessing you've tried a lot!
If i have to share a bed I also sometimes use headphones and listen to one of the free "boring story" audiobooks. If I don't have something to distract me and can't sleep I start thinking about work and that is NOT relaxing!

Yes nothing stops him sleeping, although he often tries to make out he was awake as much as me in the night ...he wasn't because I spend all night listening to him snore ..can't be bothered arguing tho

Nights are twice a year ..I can't remember if I wake up after 4 hours or not .
Tbh ,I'm very uncomfortable with him coming in the room when I'm asleep..I don't know why ,I guess I feel vulnerable and I don't like it when he comes in at 12 or 2 in the morning,and I always wake up .
I think
It stems from my mum waking me up deliberately in the middle of the night to ask me questions and get me to tell the truth ( 3 kids and if something was eaten that wasn't allowed or broken/ taken and she didn't know who did it ,she woke me up to get the truth out of me )