Everyone says they LOVE their children equally but is it normal to LIKE some more than others?

[Teifion]

Just that really. I’m talking more about older teens/young adults I suppose.

I have four and one is very easy company, good sense of humour, kind, no temper and so easy to spend time with.

One is very funny but very stubborn and loves to argue the toss about everything, can be hilarious in a good mood but can be totally exhausting to spend time with as they will argue black is white.

Another is easy going and kind like the first but is obsessed with sport and can only talk about sport, or do sport, so great to go to a game with but not so great over a long lunch.

The last is super intense, wants to discuss everything at huge length, very emotional but highly intelligent, can be really interesting to talk to but not light hearted and often has friendship problems that need working through.

i love them all hugely but in all honesty i have a pretty clear ranking for who I enjoy a lunch out with or a night away with. Is that normal?

I'm not going to vote because I only have one child so no experience - but I don't think it would be possible to have exactly the same relationship with four totally different people, and that doesn't change because you raised them!
I expect that they all have different ways they would prefer to spend time with you too anyway.

It’s inevitable really isn’t it.

And I don’t think it matters, so long as you treat them all equally.

It is compulsory as parents to at least try to love them all equally and certainly yo treat them as fairly as possible.

liking them all equally is simply not posdible.

I only have one but I would have thought this is an obvious yes! Of course you’ll gel with some personalities better than others. I think being real about that allows parents to be more conscious about treating their children equally and still spending quality time with each of them and repairing any ruptures etc.

Yes, I think it’s normal to gel with some more than others. Just like some of them will probably prefer spending time with their dad than with you.

Crikey I thougt you were describing my kids, the 1st, 2nd and 4th sound very similar to mine 🤣
But i dont think its unreasonable, you obviously love them all and find positives to each of their personalities. As long as there's no glaring preference to time or effort with each one.

I don’t even believe it’s a question of liking one more than the other, one NEEDS me more.

I’ve said no but I only have 2 and they are both wildly different but equally interesting. I just do different things with them.

They’re also younger than the age range you talk about (but not ‘little’) so I guess there’s time for them to change. Maybe in 5 years my answer will be different.

In my own experience, it’s not normal…I can’t imagine ranking them!!! However, if I were to rank them, they would change positions frequently throughout the day. I have two, and yes, I would rather go shopping or have a night in with one but then I’d rather go and watch live sport (which I love) with the other. That’s largely based on shared interest than personality. If I took dc 1 shopping they’d be as miserable as sin, but dc2 would be in heaven, opposite with a football match.

Day to day interactions though, no I don’t prefer one to the other.

Yes of course. Although it can change as they change anyway. My rather awkward and joyless child has become a wonderful young adult for example. I love his company now.

When they were young I definitely felt that day to day change in who was being easier or harder. It’s definitely become less liquid as they have aged.