Fake it till you make it tips

[VashtaNerada]

I lack confidence at work and I think it’s becoming a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy. I don’t shine and then I get overlooked and then I doubt myself more etc etc…
Has anyone got any tips for exuding confidence in the workplace? I’m thinking body language, tone of voice, clothes, affirmations and things like that. I feel I’m at a crossroads and I can either start to project a positive image of myself and build my reputation or I’m going to continue in a negative cycle and do myself out of a job. I’m with a new team so it’s a perfect opportunity to think about how I’m coming across.

Identify the most cocksure man in the office - the one who somehow manages to progress despite being a bit arrogant and lacking substance and think "what would X do" but then "how can I do it in a way that feels authentic to my values".
Best of luck :)

Stop apologising and stop saying 'just.'

Instead of 'sorry for the delay' day 'thank you for your patience.'

Instead of 'sorry I can't make that' say 'im not available then.'

Instead of 'im just following up' say 'i wanted to check.'

' I was just thinking' try 'have you considered.'

Be okay with silence, don't try to fill it and don't just speak because you think you should, only when you've got something thoughtful to add. Think beyond the operational and more strategic (if it fits your role).

Dress for the pay grade above yours and act it.

All excellent suggestions
in particular, learn to not fill a silence. you’re not a game show host

Get to know your subject matter in intense detail.

Put in the homework.

Then you can own it

Clothes that make you feel comfortable but also suggest the role. Difficult to be specific without the job.

kind but clear emails. In a new team praise genuinely and really value people’s contributions.

say I if you mean that. I had a dreadful habit of saying we did everything which wasn’t true.

for lols take some of your old emails and ask chatgpt to rewrite them as if from a highly experienced and confident project manager (or whatever).

decide what kind of reputation you want to have. Who do you admire at work? Why? What do they do? How can you align these things with your personality and values?

https://debuk.wordpress.com/2016/07/28/sorry-but-its-complicated/

Why don't you shine? What do you do/don't do, which means you don't shine?

Sometimes I dont think its about doing something different, its thinking about yourself differently

So for example read up a bit about imposter syndrome and learn why this affects women in particular. I found it helpful for minimising my imposter syndrome feelings.

Remember that essentially no one knows what they're doing, we're all muddling through. Those brash characters who sound very knowledgeable and always get things right - have a think more closely about things they get wrong, or things they say wrong. You probably overlook it because they seem supremely confident and they probably are but it doesnt mean they're doing a better job than you.

Head back shoulders down, smile and wait for whoever to talk. As others have said silence can be powerful.

Someone once said "Dress for the job you want, not the one you have" (not great if you want to be a scuba diver, but hey...)

This! Some people just have a big opinion of themselves but they do mess up. Some people are less honest about their shortfalls and mistakes. For me, how I dress is important as it makes me feel confident. Also plan ahead for the day mentally and physically. Visualise it going well. Good luck

Thank you everyone, some excellent food for thought.