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Would you consider this bullying?

8 replies

AmethystDeceiver · 11/10/2025 22:15

DS 9 plays out all the time with his friends. They range from one play park to the next, and a field, for hours at a time. I'm fine with this and happy for him to do so - it's a safe, rural area and I feel playing out like this has massive benefits.

Today he came running home. He was wrestling/ doing rugby holds with his friend and accidentally hit him in the face. Friend got very upset, started chasing him around the park, and tried to chase him home but gave up/ lost interest. DS ran home worried that the other boy wanted to get him.

DS is not too bothered. He apologized, says that's what this other boy is like, and that they will still be friends. He was a bit worried that the other boy wants to 'thump him'. I called the other boys mum, he is fine and he will not thump DS (mum's assured us).

I think this is just boys scrapping and no one got seriously hurt, and that to an extent this is what happens when kids play outside of adult supervision, but it's still okay. DH thinks it's bullying (that DS was bullied)

What do others think?

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AdultHumanFemaleOne · 11/10/2025 22:18

I wouldn't call it bullying but I would want to just keep an eye on things.

wildlifeobserver1 · 11/10/2025 22:18

He wasn’t bullied. It was just one incident where your DS accidentally hurt him and the other boy got upset. Your DS doesn’t know what would have happened when this other boy would catch up to him either, and it sounds like everything is fine given the conversation on the phone? Chasing someone is not bullying.

Zippidydoodah · 11/10/2025 22:18

This is not bullying, as it was a one-off (or was it?) Bullying happens repeatedly over time.

AmethystDeceiver · 11/10/2025 22:21

wildlifeobserver1 · 11/10/2025 22:18

He wasn’t bullied. It was just one incident where your DS accidentally hurt him and the other boy got upset. Your DS doesn’t know what would have happened when this other boy would catch up to him either, and it sounds like everything is fine given the conversation on the phone? Chasing someone is not bullying.

Yes that is a good point. He thinks his friend wanted to thump him, but he seems a nice boy (he's been round for food, they've been in school together their whole lives, I work in a related field to his mum) and possibly nothing would have happened. DH was home when he came running home and I wasn't, possibly it seemed more dramatic at the time

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AmethystDeceiver · 11/10/2025 22:21

Zippidydoodah · 11/10/2025 22:18

This is not bullying, as it was a one-off (or was it?) Bullying happens repeatedly over time.

That's exactly what I told DH

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Cadenza12 · 11/10/2025 22:22

Doesn't sound like bullying at all. They were play fighting and someone got hurt. That someone wasn't actually your son.

ThreePears · 11/10/2025 22:22

Speaking as someone who was bullied at school for years - no, I don't think he was being bullied. The two of them were play wrestling or whatever and the other lad took a hit to the face and got angry about it. That's all.

It would only become bullying if this lad bears a grudge and attacks him or gets others to do so, or spreads lies about what happened so other kids start to shun him, for example.

AmethystDeceiver · 11/10/2025 22:24

ThreePears · 11/10/2025 22:22

Speaking as someone who was bullied at school for years - no, I don't think he was being bullied. The two of them were play wrestling or whatever and the other lad took a hit to the face and got angry about it. That's all.

It would only become bullying if this lad bears a grudge and attacks him or gets others to do so, or spreads lies about what happened so other kids start to shun him, for example.

I'm sorry that happened to you @ThreePears. The perspective is useful, thank you

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