Coming out when you’re married

[SeaSnail]

Someone I know (female) got married last year (to a male).

She has just come out as bi on Facebook.

Can someone explain this thought process to me? Surely if you’re married it doesn’t matter anymore? Or is she announcing her past sex life to us? Or potential future sex life if the marriage doesn’t last?

Sounds attention seeking at this stage of life. I'd find it hard to respect this to be honest..if she is married then it's of no relevance.

Attention seeking dribble at that stage of life.

Yep, attention seeking. Like you say, it doesn't matter.

By come out has she actually announced it or did you just get a notification about her status or something? If she’s made a proper big announcement then yeah attention seeking, if just an update it could be Facebook being weird and she’s always been bi on it?

Maybe they have an open relationship?

I would be assuming the marriage is over and she wants to pursue other options.

There have been a few threads in a similar vein recently, either posters wanting to come out to their spouse or someone who claimed to have done so and the spouse hadn't taken it well.

Like many others, I'm perplexed as to why you would do that in a monogamous relationship.

It was an actual announcement, apparently it’s coming out day today

Like many others, I'm perplexed as to why you would do that in a monogamous relationship.

Obviously not monogamous if bi-sexual.....

Take your bi-phobia somewhere else. What a shitty thing to say.

Is this a serious comment?

In which case she is sharing her status as a bi person, and letting go of any shame society has made her feel, whilst showing her advocacy for others.
It does not mean she wants to or is having relations with anyone else. It does not mean she has only just realised. It does not mean she 'needs' relations with more than one sex.
She is a bi woman, married to a man, and she wants bi sexuality to be seen and respected.

So many of this comments are backwards.

It's not irrelevant just because she is married to a man. It's relevant to her, it's relevant to society and it's relevant to other people because representation matters.

I don't think it's 'attention seeking drivel'.

Attention seeking is being in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, wearing some funky clothes with a kooky hair cut and calling yourself a queer couple... 🙄

Sounds like attention seeking. I know someone who did this a few years ago and she’s the biggest attention seeker I have ever known. She is married, said the whole ‘forsaking all others’ thing in her vows so it was just odd.

It's like the football player in Australia who's 'the first openly bi-sexual player ever'. He has a current female partner and an ex wife who's the mother of his kids. I don't get it. He called out other clubs, not for anything negative they said, but for not saying anything at all. To me, it's just male ego needing to be stroked, and seeking the limelight.

It's cringe. 🤢 Wedding over and now looking for more attention.

Its was national coming out day, so thats probably why. Bisexuality doesn't disappear because you are married and maybe she felt it it was important to her to speak her truth. I imagine her husband would have known about before she posted it rather than her blindsiding him.

Why does it annoy people if a bisexual person comes out? is getting married announcing your sex life? or getting a partner, or having a baby. It's a fairly innocuous thing to come out, can't imagine why its considered so offensive to others.

it is not offensive but very woke imo
and what does it matter ?
why do we need to know?

Who actually needed that information?

Who could possibly care that she's bi apart from her and her OH? There's literally no reason to announce this on Social Media apart from to get attention.

Because heterosexual married people don’t announce “sometimes I fancy shagging people other than my husband/wife but I don’t act upon it”. Everyone would quite rightly ask “WTF are you telling me this?”.

What are we supposed to do with this information?