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Vulnerable adult being controlled

4 replies

BigSprout · 10/10/2025 23:34

I've known Chloe (not her real name) for the last few years. She's in her 30's.

Chloe has a diagnosis of ASD and would be classed as a vulnerable adult. However she has complete capacity, is very bright and completely capable of most things that she puts her mind too

Chloe lives with her parents (no siblings). Her mother has extreme anxiety, and this manifests as being extremely controlling of Chloe. Her mum won't accept any form of help for her anxiety. She says there's nothing wrong with her

Chloe isn't allowed to go out on her own. She can go out with her boyfriend but has to be back home by 9pm. She isn't allowed to stay out overnight (at her boyfriends, in a hotel or anywhere else)

She isn't allowed to choose what or when she eats (her mum makes all her meals). She wouldn't be allowed to go to McDonald's with her boyfriend for example. She has to come home for her meals everytime

She isn't allowed to use public transport (with someone else or on her own). Her Dad or boyfriend drive her everywhere.

She isn't allowed to have a job, go to college or do anything of that nature. She lives on benefits.

Untill recently her mother insisted on washing her hair for her. Chloe is completely capable of doing this herself but her mum won't take no for an answer and would come into the bathroom if Chloe said she would do it herself. It only stopped recently because Chloe had a massive row with her mum about it and her mum eventually admitted defeat...

If Chloe breaks any of these rules her Mum has threatened to throw her out and told her she'll be living on the streets (I think to scare her more than anything else). I've told Chloe that this isn't true and that she'd be looked after if they did throw her out. But she's too scared to challenge her mum anymore than she has done already.

When I talk to Chloe she says that she wants more freedom from her parents, and to eventually live with her boyfriend if able to do so. She feels they treat her like a child and want to keep her as one (despite now being an adult)

Recently Chloe's Dad made a comment (I overheard it) about what would happen when they (her parents) are no longer alive. It was very concerning to myself and I now fear for Chloe's safety

Social services currently have no involvement with the family. If I rang them anonymously would they be able to do anything or talk to Chloe's parents? I've tried talking to them myself (as have other people who know the situation) but so far they don't see the problem and won't listen to advice

OP posts:
ThreePears · 10/10/2025 23:43

What does the boyfriend think - do you know?

BigSprout · 10/10/2025 23:50

ThreePears · 10/10/2025 23:43

What does the boyfriend think - do you know?

He is also worried for her safety given her father's recent comments. He would like Chloe live with him, but her mother would never allow it

OP posts:
MissyPants · 10/10/2025 23:52

She needs to get the courage to leave, it's no life she is having.

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 10/10/2025 23:55

Don't ring them anonymously but do ring them.

We really struggle with anonymous referrals - if you ring and give your details so the social workers can call you back and get more information and then ask to remain anonymous then they will do their best to make sure this is the case.

What you are wanting to do is make a safeguarding referral to adult social care. From what you have written Chloe might not meet the s.42 threshold for Statutory Safeguarding BUT she is vulnerable as a result of her ASD and the long term control and coercion by her family and therefore the local authority can (and should) use their discretionary powers to complete initial non statutory safeguarding enquiries with her anyway.

Be very clear when you make the referral that Chloe is not free to leave the situation as a result of her vulnerability and the control and fear she is subjected to.

Give as much information as you can - you need to say explicitly what has been said that has caused you concern.

If there is the opportunity for you to arrange a safe place for you and Chloe to meet with Adult Social Care for a chat also make that clear in the referral.

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