In labour - need urgent advice!

[Ineedadvicee]

Well.. kinda in labour, kinda not!

Waters broke 27 hours ago, arrived at the hospital shortly after they broke but contractions failed to start. The hospital said that if nothing happens in 24 hours (24 hours after works breaking), they will start the oxytocin drip to get things moving. Apparently they can only allow 24 hours as you are more prone to infection once waters have gone.

Problem is… the 24 hours are up but there are no beds on labour ward so they want to take me in for a c section. I’m gutted because I haven’t even been given the chance to try for a vaginal birth… of course I need to follow their advice but it seems so unfair that the reason for the c section is purely down to lack of beds, not because of anything medical?

I don’t know what to do…

Honestly - c-sections are largely really good. They tend to do it automatically but just in case ask them to make sure you have your baby skin to skin as soon as possible after the checks - it means you can be cuddling your little one 15 minutes or so after they start the procedure whilst they sew you up (which is the bit that takes longest). Also, for your recovery I found getting up and about asap made my recovery super quick (they call it mobilising). Once the drugs wore off I was walking a little bit to the bathroom and they next day / the day after I tried to be up on my feet a lot (then once home took the baby out in the pram a lot). My recovery really seemed super fast from that. Good luck!!

It’s always best to have flexible ideas of what birth will be like as babies determine their own journey. It’s likely an induced labour, if you’ve not spontaneously started any contractions, would not progress well and would lead to more delay/instrumentation/worse experience for you and baby. This is a good option for you to safely meet your baby. It’s disappointing if you had your heart set on labouring but try to reframe it for yourself so you can make peace with it. It’s such a small part of what’s happening to you. The best bit is coming and that’s what matters.

I had three vaginal deliveries, episiotomies, 58 stitches the first time. Painful sex until after birth of second when someone put right the pigs ear of the first one.

Third baby 18 years later was born an hour after admittance. No painkillers, gas and air shot out like a champagne cork.

But I ask if I'd had c sections would my pelvic floor, bladder have dropped causing incontinence and super pads. I wonder if anyone has done a study on this?

Good luck @Ineedadvicee ! Sending well wishes for your section. You'll be holding your baby before you know it.

There are things I'd change about my birth experience but it all felt extremely minor after baby was born. Please don't focus on feeling like a failure or you should have "advocated" for yourself more or something. Your only job is/was to get baby out safely.

All the best for you and the little one x

Sorry you've had a bad experience with the hospital, it's completely unfair and again you see women dismissing other women's choice even on here, minimising the impact of major surgery, and talking about you as if you are merely a side part in a babies birth.
Good luck with everything and I hope you're cuddling your little one very soon and you are both well. 💜
Once you've settled into a routine with little one I would consider asking for a birth debrief to go through why you were put in this position. I hope you have had someone supporting you overnight, the added stress is far from helpful in promoting labour.

"Dismissing" "minimising"

We have been pointing out that in OP's position after 24h (more like 36+ now I think) there are meaningful medical risks to "just wait and see", and reassuring OP that following the medical advice she received is a completely reasonable course of action which isn't a failure.

I had a very similar birth experience to OP, no beds available, it was deeply frustrating and I felt an extreme loss of control which was very stressful. I did eventually get a room for induction and 24h later had the section anyway, because, guess what, if the baby hasn't spontaneously come after waters have broken there is likely to be some other issue. I don't think OP should focus on "I should have done x, y, z to ensure I had a chance at induction", both because it's counterproductive and you can't change the past, and also because induction in that situation would have been very likely to end in more interventions anyway.

Good luck OP! Make sure you do a post birth reflection when you feel able and absolutely see if you can access any postpartum counselling to talk it all through. I’ve had PPD and PPA from two tricky deliveries and talking it all through helped me to process it along with writing it all down so I could go back and reflect a little later and process what happened.
Safe delivery for you and baby x

I think you’ve dealt with it the best you can, you’ve had an extra half a day and still no sign of baby so a c section is probably the best option now, inductions often end up in c section anyway so at least this way you will be less tired and can be home sooner.
Good luck x

It’s always best to have flexible ideas of what birth will be like as babies determine their own journey

Absolutely.

In this case it needs to be rephrased as "It’s always best to have flexible ideas of what birth will be like as our health service may not be able to provide a bed for you"

All the best OP.

Please share a photo of your baby if you want. 👶

My first arrived back to back many stitches needed.

My second arrived fist first then his arm. Panic stations around me husband said. He was so bruised, squashed and battered around the face and arm.

My third popped out like a cork.

You can't predict issues I guess on the NHS.

You should be able to predict that there will be a bed on a ward. Are women going to have to start adding this to their birth plan?
"If there is no bed on the ward then I would like to be transferred/would like to be monitoried/have a C-section"

Yes I think comments like:
-C sections are great!
-Can't believe some of these responses, or how precious OP is being.
-A C section is relatively minor these days, FFS
-All of the usual bleats "but it's major surgery"

Are fairly minimising and dismissive, and tbh just quite rude and something I hope someone wouldn't say to a woman's face when she was in a stressful and vulnerable position. But there we go, we're all different.
Personally I'd chose c section over induction but that's my personal choice and the op should be supported to make her own choice, not be pushed into something she wanted to avoid due to the hospital resources not being adequate and an alternative such as transfer to another hospital not being offered as an alternative.

Totally agree with the above and wishing you and your baby all the very best xxx

Someone calling OP “precious” is absolutely dismissive and minimising. There’s no need for it. And saying a c section is “no big deal” is simply not true. C sections are great, and it’s great that they’re available by choice, and they can absolutely be easier than a difficult vaginal delivery. But it’s still a significant surgery, and one where you're asked to look after a newborn immediately. Potentially on your own as your partner is sent home for the night. It is ok for someone to acknowledge that it’s a big deal and that they’re reluctant, without being called precious.

This 100%

I can completely understand you feeling disappointed and upset about this trail of events OP but you've made the best decision that you can in the circumstances. Advocating for yourself in this kind of situation is so difficult when you are vulnerable and being presented with so many if, buts and maybes.
I hope youre ok

There’s a big difference between those two and at the point she wrote this the CS was medically unnecessary and she hadn’t elected for it, she was being coerced. It’s ridiculously facile to say they’re ’both medical interventions’ as if there’s no difference between the two. I’m not sure you’re being serious.

I just wanted to say this:

You may find yourself needing to mourn the birth you thought you would have. That’s totally fair, and things like requesting your notes and debriefs and if necessary, therapy, can help you along the way. But know this:

It sounds as though after 24 hours of no progress the section was medically necessary. It sounds as though the safety of you and your baby has been prioritised in giving you a section and hopefully avoiding eg sepsis. It sounds as though your baby wasn’t planning on coming out any other way.

I hope this knowledge helps you on your journey to acceptance. You and your baby are the most important thing ❤️

To be honest telling a woman she’s “at increased risk “ is meaningless and doesn’t help informed decision making. Maybe the OP did get more information than she posted here and the staff discussed any risks in real percentages. Such as an increase from a 0.5% chance to a 1% chance. But it didn’t sound like they did 🤷🏻‍♀️

You’re right - they are very different - I don’t know anyone with a good story to tell about induction and in a lot of cases they ended up having a c-section anyway, they were just exhausted from the induction process - I know loads of people (myself included) with good experiences from c-sections and you don’t tend to fail to do a c-section and then have to default to induction. I obviously hope every pregnant woman is able to choose the best way for her to give birth and has a wonderful experience - but as that’s not always possible, demystifying the fear around c-sections and talking about how they can be positive experiences is my personal way of adding to the conversation having seen how often our culture inaccurately scares women about them.

I see this a lot, and just in case someone is booked in for an induction and is worried - I had a great induction. One dose of the gel and DD2 born 11 hours later. Quicker but no more painful than my spontaneous labour with DD1.
I’d have insisted on an epidural before they came anywhere near me with the drip. But as it was, that wasn’t needed and it was all fine.

I also know many women who were induced and went on to have smooth labours and births. It's a while ago tbf - my youngest is 16 and my oldest 26.

My sister had a planned c section and had a fantastic experience. I hope it goes really well for you x x

Because you go onto the ward after the c-section, you don’t go to a bed on the labour ward. Assuming they have beds on the maternity ward.

Oh bless you. I hope everything went well and having your little one in your arms has brightened the whole situation. Xx