I don't think I am someone who nags her husband and my husband says he doesn't think I nag him. Mostly I think this is the case because I don't have to and he is good at doing what he says he will do.
I had a look online and opinions on nagging from men and I am not sure what to make of it. It seems to be used when a man feels he is being repeatedly asked to do something. Some of responses I read were
"I consider nagging to be when someone is constantly asking for things to be done or changed that they are fully capable of doing themselves. It's annoying and frustrating, and it makes the person doing the nagging seem lazy."
"She repeats, repeats, repeats"
"Nagging is repeatedly asking or bothering me to do something that you've already asked about and I've either said no or agreed to do but haven't gotten to yet."
"Bugging me incessantly over the same shit all of the time."
"Just because a specific subject is high on your priority list, doesn't mean it ranks that high on mine. If we've discussed it, I consider the matter closed."
On one had these responses might seem reasonable but if it's a woman asking her partner to put his clothes on the washing basket then why is it the woman who is lazy for not just doing it for him? Surely this makes the man the lazy one?
What if the wife wants her husband to take a more active role in childcare, helping with bedtime routines and so on, if she asks him once and he decides it isn't high on his priority list then to him is it just matter closed? Wouldn't the wife be well within her rights to be mad about this and to repeatedly try to get her husband to do his job as a father?
All of this without context just makes it seem like using the term "nagging" is just a way for men to let themselves of the hook for leaving their wives to do all the shit work and play the victim.