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Original poster

WWYD - 7 Year old wants to move school

24 replies

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 10:38

My son has just started Year 3 at a good local school. Unfortunately he has not seemed to found a core "group" of friends, he prefers a smaller group / or playing one to one. He's not one of the sporty ones and alot of his Reception and Year 1 friends gravitated towards playing football every break, he does not.

He's had a couple of good friends but unfortunately they have moved schools for differing reasons. When my son hasn't got a friend to play with , he will just spend lunchtimes by himself apparently which he has told me and then the teacher has also told me.

His latest best friend is now moving schools, coincidentally to a school which my sons cousins go to. (he would not have got into this school based on catchment).

Now my son is saying that he wants to move schools, to go to the school that his friend is going to and his cousins. The school he wants to move to is a very good school, but I am in a dilemma about moving him from a school that he knows based on social reasons but also acknowledging that when he is lonely he will just spend breaks and lunchtimes on his own

OP posts:

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 13:49

bump bump

OP posts:

Roxie99 · 09/10/2025 13:51

Hi, this is a hard one as he's only just started year 3. I can see why he wants to move schools but what I would say is give it until Xmas to see if he ends up making any new friends up until then? I am having a similar dilemma but with my year 8! And that's what I'm saying to him...

Silverpaws · 09/10/2025 13:53

I would do it. We did and it was the best decision for dc

Interested in this thread?

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7 year olds General education Primary education

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 13:59

Thanks for words of encouragement!

The new school finishes earlier by 15 mins but is closer to my work , so I could adjust my start and end times by 15 mins.

Parking not so great at the new school so I think that's putting me off. Realistically I would have to park 7-10 minutes walk away (on a main road) but am trying to not put a dampener on things

OP posts:

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 14:03

Actually, have found a nearer road to park on which is 5 mins walk away....

OP posts:

willsandnoodle · 09/10/2025 14:15

Is he new to this school? Or has he been there from reception. It’s not clear to me from your post. If he has been there from the start and hasn’t found his people then definitely move him. I’d be reluctant if he is new to this school though as he won’t have had chance to settle.

I moved one of my dc in year 5, and no regrets. DC wasn’t getting along with the children there - wasn’t getting the support needed for ND. Was much happier in a new school.

Another of my children wanted to move in yr 7, and again no regrets. They’re older now, and the move was really positive for them.

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 14:18

@willsandnoodle he has been at his current school since Reception

OP posts:

mummymissessunshine · 09/10/2025 14:30

Yes move him. Doesn’t sound like the right place for him.
nothing worse than not having your own tribe and spending so much time on your own.

I have moved my own kids a couple of times for various reasons. They have both made friends and fitted into their new environment

kids are more resilient than we like to think. Even more so when they are the one driving the change.
manage expectations. Ie moving is not a magic wand but with a little effort it could be an amazing move.

considering asking for feedback from current school to see if there is anything that he / you can work on together.

and yes. I would move mid year if the option was there and he was up for it.

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 17:05

Thanks for feedback!

OP posts:

Notagain75 · 09/10/2025 17:13

Are you sure he would get a place at the other school? Are they under subscribed and have agreed to take him?

StarsandStones · 09/10/2025 17:15

I would also move.

Feeling secure in school (and this includes forming close friendships) is also important for school results.

RainySeattle · 09/10/2025 17:18

Will he get a place at new school? Is it near enough for reasonable school run/play dates/birthday parties? If so, I’d move him. He will know some people, and maybe a fresh start will do him good.

Bitzee · 09/10/2025 17:23

If he was able to get a place at the other school and because it sounds like you can make the logistics work then I wouldn’t hesitate to move him. He’s had 3+ years at the current school to make it work, it clearly isn’t a great fit and that’s only likely to get worse as the kids get older and stop running around playing tag with whoever. And he’s have the benefit of a good friend and a cousin at the new school.

BlueberryLatte · 09/10/2025 17:27

I agree with pps that I would move him. Definitely worth a try!

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 09/10/2025 21:02

I think you guys have given me the courage!! Thank you :)

The other school has spaces, I have made a few initial enquiries

OP posts:

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 20/11/2025 23:01

Just to update , it's been a couple of weeks since Ds friend left school

Some days are good and he will say hes played with friends, some days not so good and he says he can't find the friends /the playground is too manic.

Im still unsure what to do, if he can't make friends at his current school who's to say he will make friends at another school

OP posts:

Starlightstargazer · 20/11/2025 23:11

You could take him to the other school to look round? Would he be in the same class as his friend or cousins? What is different about the school than current?
Some schools will let you do a taster day to give an idea how it might go x

Xmasxrackers · 07/02/2026 21:49

OP what did you decide in the end?

my son wanted to move schools when he didn’t have many friends, but he was also bullied too. Me and his dad were so worried but we looked around, he liked it and he started a week later, he’s never had any issues going in, and a year later he has the loveliest group of friends

Pinkladyapplepie · 07/02/2026 22:33

My DC two years apart when to a village school nearest to our home at the time. It had two year groups in each class. DD had a great friendship group lots of play dates socialising etc, DS youngest , was in a class with only 4 other boys, a couple were fine but a couple were spoilt brats to be honest , just before Easter in year two we moved to the next village, lest than 5 mins in car. DS decided he wanted to change school to one in new village, I was really torn, DD stayed at the original one, DS moved , best thing we could have done, more boys 15 of same age, male teacher(lone parents so happy for positive role model). More football,and sport. He settled in straight away and had more local friends too.

Original poster

schooldilemma111 · 08/02/2026 08:35

@Xmasxrackers
His friend moved school over October half term and my son has not mentioned moving again, and at a parents evening his teacher mentioned giving it a chance as my son seemed too dependant on his little friend. A couple of months on and he seems OK, he did mention it in passing the other day but otherwise seems fine and playing with other friends at school again.

Although after both the recent posts has me doubting again

OP posts:

DisforDarkChocolate · 08/02/2026 08:40

If he could get in I would. It's not just a social reason is it, the impact of being isolated will harm his mental health and learning.

Ladybugheart · 08/02/2026 08:44

schooldilemma111 · 08/02/2026 08:35

Although after both the recent posts has me doubting again

I'm glad your son is doing well. Id say just keep monitoring it without asking him as such, but making sure you know how he feels. Ultimately I'd say, life is short, he has to go to school everyday so if he did want to move and you can move him I would do so.

Meadowfinch · 08/02/2026 08:56

I would have moved my ds if I could. The other boys were obsessed with football and ds wasn't. His main friend moved away and he was lonely. He was bullied for reading at lunchtime, and the head mistress of his primary was very pro-sport and made his life a misery.

I'd check the culture of the other school. Do they encourage other lunchtime activities except endless football? Anything a bit more cerebral? Don't leave him to be unhappy.

Goatymum · 08/02/2026 09:30

I read your updates, which are more positive. My thoughts would be.

Does he have play dates with school friends?
Does he get invited to parties?
is he coming out of school with friends or in his own?
Kids often mask how they’re feeling or say they’re ‘fine’ when they’re not. I know that from my DC abd myself as a child too.

Having said that, my DS isn’t/wasn’t sporty ans a child and found boys who were equally not in to football. DS tried it but it wasn’t for him and it was ok. But he’s very personable, and always found making friends relatively easy, esp in primary. He’d play ball games in the playground, but not football.

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