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Partner taking financial advantage

30 replies

Sabiha2000 · 08/10/2025 11:41

My partner moved into my house three years ago. I'm retired but he's younger and still works so his monthly income is nearly double mine. The house is owned by me and he doesn't pay any rent. When he moved in I was stupid enough to open a joint account with him. The account was to cover all household bills, food plus tax and insurance and maintenance on our two cars. It wasn't long before he started taking advantage of the situation. His teenage daughter stays every other weekend and half of the school holidays. I asked him to put extra money into the account when shes there as he buys a lot of luxury items for her all coming out of the joint account. He also started to pay for all his petrol -for work- and for running around after his daughter - all out of the account. After an argument he would pay some extra into the account but things quickly slide back to normal. He doesn't earn a high wage but after paying money into the joint account and paying child maintenance he still has a disposable income of over £1000 a month. He's always pleading poverty but spends his money on drinking, gambling on the horses and over indulging his teenage daughter.
I've now asked him to move out and hes going at the end of the month. I feel really bad about turning him out because he hasn't got anything and in a lot of ways hes been a good partner, but i just feel that he has been using me to subsidise his lifestyle.

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaur · 08/10/2025 16:40

Sabiha2000 · 08/10/2025 12:39

Yes, he's going at the end of month. Has to pay £850 a month for a 2 bed flat 😲

Good. Don't let anything he says trouble you, just make sure he leaves once, has no reason to come back for any reason

And then enjoy your retirement

SheilaFentiman · 08/10/2025 16:53

Well done on finishing things

He should absolutely have had his own account for buying his Dd things, gambling etc. He chose not to.

Arlanymor · 08/10/2025 16:56

Good for you, stand firm, although it sounds like you are. You offered him ways to remedy the situation before it got to this, but he chose not to. I pay £900 for a two bed flat and that's before any bills - it's called the real world! He's had a really easy ride for the last three years and frankly, it's really disappointing that he's not once in all of that time offered to pay for his accommodation. Still, he's got plenty of time to reflect on that now in his new place.

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Summerhillsquare · 08/10/2025 18:08

He bit the hand that fed him, more fool him.

But to be fair you could have simply reduced your contribution to the joint account to compensate, there was clearly more than enough money in there to cover joint expenses?

Sabiha2000 · 08/10/2025 18:40

I could have reduced my contributions but I was always afraid there would not be enough to last the month and honor the direct debits. I just wanted to trust him to pay his fair share. It was a very unbalanced situation but I'm out of it now.

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