This was abuse yes ?

[BlueDressontheLine]

My mum! The things she did when we were young include...
Stabbing my sister with a fork
Popping this blow up cherry thing we got from a fete
Putting our teddies in a bin bag and leaving them outside
Smashing a milk bottle so hard in temper she collapsed full of blood
Waking us up in the night screaming the house is a mess and emptying our drawers
When I was on the house phone she'd cut it off and smile
She was always asleep or moaning or screaming.

Absolutely yes that was abuse. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Are you still in contact with her?

Yes that's abusive behaviour. Don't want to armchair diagnose but it sounds like something was seriously wrong with her to be behaving like that.

She sounded mentally unwell. I’d have to know what she was doing at all other times. Was there a supportive husband anyway? Did she work?

Supportive husband. She worked full time in a stressful job. We're still in contact but not overly close. She white washes everything shes done and says she cant remember

Let me guess - when you tell her what she did she's not so much "oh my god, I don't remember that but I'm so sorry that I did that" and much more "I don't remember that and I don't want to talk about it"?

Completely mind blank apparently

How does your sibling feel about it now? Do you have the same memories of your childhood? Is she close with your mother?

In other words she absolutely does remember and she knows that what she did was indefensibly wrong. But because there's something very broken within her she has decided that it's easier to pretend it never happened rather than to deal with it like an adult.

I'm really sorry. You deserved much, much better.

Was she/is she a drinker?

They are closer I wouldn't speak to my sibling about it.

I think she may have been. I know she was on anti depressants for a period.

It absolutely was abusive.

What I have found to give me peace, is to tell myself that I do not need anybody else's endorsement or vindication that what I remembered is what happened, that it was wrong, and that they were wrong.

It doesn't matter why they did what they did, the outcome was the same, they abused me, and hurt me dreadfully.

It is up to me how I choose to interact with them now, and what I'm prepared to give to them, put up with from them.

I choose not to bring things up with them, because I know they either cannot, or will not, give me what I need from them. And I choose not to give them the opportunity for rebuttal or denial. I don't have to. It's not a court of law, it's a court of me.

Sounds like my dads mum, she was schizophrenic