Career vs home/life balance

[Bordercollierun]

Been going round in circles with this.
Currently have primary school aged children. Work part time nights. Leaves a lot of time to be around for DC, can go to the gym during the day, walk the dog, keep on top of the house etc. My job is secure but very boring. Mind numbingly boring!

Sounds ideal and in so many ways it is, but the job is very low paid with no prospects at all. We can survive on DH wage but no savings, holidays or ‘nice things’.
Finances are tight so if bills go up any more we will be in a worse position.

I’m also concious that DH has all of the strain of paying for everything while I don’t contribute anywhere near as much.

Since the cost of living I’ve been toying with getting a better paid job with more hours but I’m torn as my work life balance will be much worse and I’ll see a lot less of my DC. I want to do something that challenges me a little bit.

Those of you who work full time with children, how do you manage? Would I be making a mistake to do this?

I’m not the exact demographic you asked for, but I saw your post was still unanswered and wanted to reach out.

You’re in a situation that, on paper, has a lot of positives: time for your children, time to exercise, to walk the dog, and to keep things running smoothly at home. Still, I can understand how the boredom and the low pay can make it feel like something important is missing, especially when your partner carries so much of the financial strain.

It’s such a difficult balance when the job that fits your family life doesn’t feed your mind or offer growth, while one that pays more and challenges you takes time and energy away from your children. There isn’t a single right answer, it’s about which trade-offs feel most manageable for you right now. Wanting more for yourself is valid, and sometimes a small step, like increasing hours a bit or looking for part-time work that interests you more, can shift the balance without losing what you value most at home.

You’re clearly thinking this through with a lot of care, which says a lot about the kind of person and parent you are.

Peace of mind is priceless. It’s lifestyle vs happiness and only you can answer that. Are you happy to scrimp and save and be frugal but not work as much and have a less intense day to day life.

Working full Monday to Friday with children is intense always challenging and you won’t be on top of the house or exercise or be with the dog but you have more money.

If it was possible to manage financially not working 9-5 Mon-Fri with primary kids then I definitely would not go full time. It's flipping hard, but also most kids just do better with someone around a bit more if possible.

Could you do something else to stretch yourself and improve longer term prospects? Online IT training? Some other qualification that you can fit around everything else?

Thankyou everyone for your replies! Helps to write it down!

I have already done a diploma online. I also have an intense hobby so I don’t understand why I’m so unfulfilled!

My job is boring and I could do it with my eyes shut. My employer is greedy and doesn’t care about the staff at all but I’ve stayed as it’s easy.

We can survive on our current income. We can pay bills, run a house/2 cars etc but there’s no extras. No holidays, struggle to do nice things in the school hols. However I’m home a lot with the DC. Able to take them to school, go to parents evenings and collect them if they are sick. Stuff like that.

Working 9-5ish is do-able IME if the commuting time isn’t too lengthy and your H does some of the weekday parenting.

I think mums’ personal earning ability is important for various (statistically likely) scenarios, so if you have opportunities for higher paid work would try it.

A problem will be the dog: dog care is expensive.

It doesn’t sound like the issue is ‘lifestyle’, but more that your household finances are a bit precarious.

@Dozer yes I think your right! I’ve been worrying that I’ve hit mid 30s, hardly anything in a pension. No savings. No career prospects. It is a bit scary!

Honestly, it’s totally normal to feel unfulfilled even when you’ve ticked some big boxes like having a diploma or an intense hobby. Sometimes the everyday grind of a boring job (especially one where your boss is a bit of a nightmare) just sucks the energy and joy right out of things. And yep, staying because it's "easy" or because you want that flexibility with the kids is relatable. Being able to take the kids to school and do those little important things is huge, but it doesn’t magically fill up the rest of the day with happiness or excitement, does it?
So your brain’s probably telling you, “I’m surviving but where’s the sparkle?” That’s classic unfulfillment, doing the basics but craving something more fun, meaningful, or just a bit less... meh. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way and it’s okay to want better for yourself without feeling guilty. Maybe small changes or new goals could help, or even just being kind to yourself for juggling everything so well.