DD(10) just doesn’t wake up in the morning!! What can we do?!

[FusionChefGeoff]

She finds going to bed really hard and is often up and down until 9.30/10.00. She doesn’t use her iPad after dinner, TV off at 8ish and I read to her then she reads herself. Sometimes she has a melatonin tablet which helps hugely but not always as I’m hopeful she will eventually be able to sleep without them.

She has a LOUD Alexa alarm right next to her head and it’s been going off for 10 minutes and she’s still asleep. Her lights turn on with the alarm too but that makes no difference. We have to go in a physically wake her most mornings.

I’ve got one eye on secondary school next year and how she’s supposed to be getting more independent but this is going to be a major issue if she can’t even be left to get up on time!

Any ideas / reassurances / solidarity to help???

My DD is 13 but very similar.
I set 2 alarms - one she physically has to get up to turn off and I go in, open curtain, turn light on, she’ll fall back asleep without me waking her. Weekends she’ll sleep 12 hours.

During week sleeps 11-7 and is exhausted. I’m in bed before her at night but she seems to be a night owl, I don’t think it’s unusual but it’s annoying.

Your DD is probably too young but mine needs to take iron regularly.

You can get alarms designed for deaf people, you put a pad under the pillow and the pad vibrates when the alarm goes off. It might be worth a try.

https://www.connevans.co.uk/catalogue/172/Alarm-clocks

A longer slower down wind down. Screens off at 7pm, bath and PJs, reading then bed with more reading.

Try a daylight alarm instead, that gradually brightens, like sunlight would. You could also just try to create liveliness around her - open her curtains, open the window a bit for breeze, peel back her duvet from around her face if she is cocooned, open her bedroom door wide and have lively music playing, smell of coffee etc.

DSs were both like this for a few years around their tweens. I think it is very normal as the body shifts towards adolescence. My two would sleep until midday at weekends. they are adults now and perfectly capable of waking up at 6.30 to get to work.

start the winding down earlier as it seems maybe she needs more sleep right now. some people do.

softer lighting, no over heads.

Bath before bed, reading, or you can rub her feet while she reads aloud to you to help calm her nervous system.

But also waking her up at age 10 is fine.

I physically wake my 10 yo dd and 13 yo DS and assumed it was normal. Without me doing that, they’d sleep through too. On weekends they sleep until at least 9am before they wake naturally. If anything I think they get harder to wake as they get older, not easier because they want a lie in more

If only!

My 11 year old will only wake to my voice, or a rub on the arm. He doesn't wake when I knock on his door or chap on his bed frame. Even if his big brother is thundering about right outside his bedroom, he still sleeps. But only school days. He's often awake at 7am at the weekends 🙄

No tv or tablets at all after school. If you want to use these at all in school days, only before school - after she has got totally ready to kill time until she has to leave. This will solve your problem

If she has bright sunshine early morning her body will make its own melatonin at night

It won't necessarily solve the problem - some people struggle with sleep no matter how good their sleep hygiene is. My DD can be completely banned from all screens for a month and she still won't fall asleep before midnight.

This sounds like mine. If it’s riding or a birthday, she’s up at 6. School days I have to physically wake her up.

I fully expect this to be the norm well into secondary next year and beyond. I remember parents waking me as a teen, or checking I was awake at least!!

No alarm is reliable enough to wake a sleeping teen!!!!

Me too.

I was the same as a child, teenager and adult.

Some people are just like that.

My friend's two DC (15 and 13) wake up independently, get their own breakfast and leave for school while she sleeps.

I need to wake my DC (same age) up and chivvy them out of bed. Their breakfast is on the table waiting for them, they'd never get round to making it themselves.

Her DC were always early risers. Up at 5am when they were younger. By 9am she'd have taken them to the park, baked a cake and done painting 😆 My DC took longer to sleep through the night but always slept until a decent time in the morning. All DC are different!

I am reaping the rewards of having a none sleeping baby/toddler/primary school child.
Getting up in the morning isn't an issue!

If you have kids who usually sleep well, it's a different matter in the mornings, and they may well need more input to rouse themselves - after all, they were great when younger at sleeping through daily life, and that's just continued

I think some are good risers and others aren’t.

My ds is a swimmer and they have to get up at 4am. There are swimmers who swim at 6am from 10-11yo right through to 20’s. The younger ones once a week and the older ones 4/5 times a week.

So I’ve chatted to lots of parents over the years about kids waking up and some have always done it independently and some are still being risen at stupid o clock in their late teens.

My ds was one who has always woken with an alarm. He doesn’t even have a loud alarm - it’s a buzzing noise and his alarm clock is the other side of the room so he gets up and switches it off.

I think it’s one of those things where you have to parent the child you have and it isn’t a skill that can necessarily be taught or learned.

I’ve always risen early and easily especially with an alarm. Ds father OTOH …..!!!!

my mum was also always an easy early riser - I’ve often wondered if their is a genetic component?