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What would you expect to happen here?

9 replies

Bottleplant · 06/10/2025 19:54

There are a group of us who go away on short trips several times a year. A mix of couples and singles, sometimes partners come, sometimes they don't. The group is fluid, so whilst there's a core of people, not everyone goes everytime iyswim.

We have one planned in a few weeks and one of the men has had to drop out because of a family situation. This leaves a spare bed in his wife's room.

We've asked some of the usual women but none of them can make it. There is a single man who has been with us previously, who would like to come. The husband of the woman he'd be sharing with is OK with it, she's fine with it. We've all been friends and shared in various combinations for a long time.

However the replacement man now has a fairly recently new GF. He's smitten, says it's all going very well etc. There's not room for her to come too and as I said , he'll be sharing with a long standing (married) female friend.

Would you expect him to come? Would you be ok with that if you were the new GF.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 06/10/2025 19:57

Yes and yes.

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 06/10/2025 19:57

I assume they are sharing a room and not a bed? A room wouldn't bother me at all but sharing a bed i would be a bit uncomfortable with if I was the GF

NellieElephantine · 06/10/2025 19:57

Can't there be any switching with current group? So couple could switch in so bloke shares with bloke?

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/10/2025 19:58

I’d be fine with it; but I’d also understand another woman objecting to a man she was dating sharing a bedroom with a woman she didn’t know on a holiday she wasn’t invited on. It’s for the two of them to work out between them.

Bottleplant · 06/10/2025 20:02

NellieElephantine · 06/10/2025 19:57

Can't there be any switching with current group? So couple could switch in so bloke shares with bloke?

Yes, that's why I'm asking. The only way that works is if I offer to share with her, and my own fairly new BF shares with the replacement man.

No one's asked or seems to have even thought of it and tbh I was looking forward to a few days away with him, albeit as part of a group.

OP posts:
OuijaBoard · 06/10/2025 20:12

I'd let him figure it out and say if he's coming. You have said he'd like to go, so if I were him I'd probably go. If I were his girlfriend I'd probably ask some questions as it's a new relationship and I don't know the friends or the friend group dynamics, but I wouldn't try to stop him or be overly concerned. If he has not said that there's an issue with his coming, or with his sharing with the married female friend, I wouldn't be worrying that there might be.

WickedElpheba · 06/10/2025 20:14

I think it's up to them. He said he'd come and committed. I wouldn't feel obligated to switch rooms if I were you.

londongirl12 · 06/10/2025 20:46

Bottleplant · 06/10/2025 20:02

Yes, that's why I'm asking. The only way that works is if I offer to share with her, and my own fairly new BF shares with the replacement man.

No one's asked or seems to have even thought of it and tbh I was looking forward to a few days away with him, albeit as part of a group.

I don’t think you should move just because he has a new GF. He said he was fine was it, so just leave it as that.

RedSkyatNight25 · 06/10/2025 20:49

NellieElephantine · 06/10/2025 19:57

Can't there be any switching with current group? So couple could switch in so bloke shares with bloke?

That was my first thought.

Id be ok with it now - ten years into my marriage. But I’d have felt uncomfortable at the outset. Although I wouldn’t have said anything.

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