Recovering from toxic workplace...exhausted & unsure on what to do next

[Greenwitchart]

I recently left a job (I was offered a financial settlement to leave after raising a grievance) in a really chaotic and toxic environment after almost 4 years. My mental and physical health was badly affected and in the end I completely burned out/had a breakdown.

I am very happy to be free from that job but now I am dealing with crippling lack of self-confidence in my work skills and experience, almost constant tiredness and poor mental health. I am middle aged but I have never been so tired in my life...

I am due to start counselling this week and I hope it will help but I am so sluggish that I am struggling to do much every day. By midday I am literally feeling like all I want to do is sleep.

I am continuing with some part-time freelance activities that I can do from home but I would not be able to cope with a regular workload and work environment.

Has anyone else had to go through this and how did you recover? any tips?

I had the same thing happen to me in 2019 (age 55). I was a teacher. I took a complete break from Feb to September then started doing supply because I felt more in control - I guess like your freelance work. If an employer is toxic you can just walk away. I have done full time supply contracts but honestly, I couldn’t have taken a permanent job and I have now taken my teacher’s pension early (quite a big actuarial reduction) and have given up teaching completely.
A friend who had a worse mental health crisis from the same school is now working as a teacher again, so it’s not inevitable that it stops you for ever, but it is a possibility.
You have my sympathies.

Just realised I didn’t answer the recovery tips bit!
I focused on things I liked, health, exercise, and not making myself vulnerable at work again.
I feel like I am mentally healthy and strong again, but whether that would survive a full time permanent teaching contract I wasn’t sure. So I didn’t take one.

From the sound of it I think you would make a great counsellor yourself .In time I reckon you will have some great ideas of recovery to offer clients. A friend of mine was in a similar situation to you and was so impressed with counselling he built a business up. It sounds like a holiday would be useful possibly one where pampering is involved .Using various ways of looking after yourself are all ideas you could use with clients .It is overwhelming at the moment and you sound ideally suited for working in a counselling situation. My friend used to say his clients respected that he had turned around his life from his despair. I wish you well with your future.

Sounds similar to the situation I was in a year ago. I took some months off and then found a new job. I was worried about going into another big job full time but it's actually been great. Far less stressful and I like the people. I did really need the time off though.
I had therapy during that time too, and some career coaching.

Have a look at Brave Starts.

I ended up having EMDR therapy in my break. As PPs said I really recommend therapy too.

I think getting out in fresh air and getting some exercise would really help you. Is there somewhere local you can go for a regular walk.

Thank you everyone for the advice and for sharing your own experience.

I had my first therapy session this week and it was really good so I hope that will help me recover.

For now I will carry on concentrating on my freelance work and spending the rest of the time looking after myself.