Seeing dd's oldest friend I never liked

[Whataretalkingabout]

I am in need of advice of how to handle an upcoming visit with my DD. Her oldest and best friend who I I haven't seen in many many years will be there. We will be together for a long weekend at DD's house abroad . Beatrice is godmother to my only GD.

My problem is I never liked her and she probably never liked me either!
My perception was she was spoiled and rude as a child. I am sure she is a good person nonetheless and I am sorry to dislike her but that is my honest feeling. How can I graciously survive this weekend? I know my feelings are not important here but I am a poor liar and do not want to hurt anyone.
Thanks for any suggestions.

Agreed 👆

I was the kid that grown women took a disliking to

Yabu and very bizarre.

This isn't AIBU. But I do get it that people love to throw stones at others for admitting truthful uncomfortable feelings. I must be the first person then to have not liked someone. I guess I am a horrible person. Happy now everyone?

I can only speak for myself, but the fact you harboured negative feelings towards a small child to the extent that it’s tainted your relationship with them now they’re an adult, seems bizarre to me. Your daughter is her best friend. You say it’s driven in part by their childhood ingratitude and I ask again, what were they supposed to be grateful for?

I don’t think anyone has said you’re horrible. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps you could go into it by pretending that you've never met her before? She's an adult now and you don't know her. Try to forget what she was like as a child and give her a chance as an adult.

It's a fair point that you were asking for advice on how to handle your feelings, not whether you're being unreasonable.

But I think pps are struggling to understand why the feelings are still there in the present tense, when you do also recognise you have no reason to dislike her now.

Would it perhaps work to recast her in your mind as a friend of your daughter's you've heard a lot about but never met before? Or even picture yourself deleting your negative memory files about her? You know best how your own mind works but I think you need to find a way to take her out of the box marked "people I don't like", because this is neither fair to her nor helpful to you.

If you can’t be grown up and accept the friend for the adult she is now, don’t go -
who knows why her behaviour rattled you then ?
sometimes kids irritating behaviour is a communication all is not well, who knows ??-
anyway your DD clearly really values her as she has remained in her life a long time,
so try to see what your DD sees in her, or don’t go

I’m confused. You say you are uncomfortable about your past feelings. Are you saying you don’t feel the same about her now? I didnt take that from the opening post.
If that’s the case then draw a line under the past. In fact, do that anyway- it’s the only way forward. Start again getting to know her and make the most of your time with DD.

This! It isn’t really a stretch given it’s been so long and she was a child when you last had anything much to do with her! Chill with the hyperbole and try to keep an open mind.

You don't know how to deal with feelings of dislike for 3 or 4 days?

I dont understand HOW , as an adult, you don't know how

I don’t think you can hold a grudge like this against someone you only knew as a child. It seems silly and horrible.
She was a child when you knew her, we all grow up we all have life experiences that shape us into the adults we are. Go in to it with your heart and mind open, fresh slate… for yourself as much as her. You can do better than disliking someone you don’t even know.