I'm 44 with 2 teens and one in primary. My DH unexpectedly died 3 years ago. Life has been hard but we have come out the other side and we are doing good and I feel things have finally settled.
Relationships is not even on my radar. I'm just focussed on myself and the kids, working FT with a 2nd casual job, managing the house, and making sure my DC are all ok. Life is busy and tiring but I am grateful for what I have.
A few years ago I joined a fun, hobby type course. The class were a really nice bunch and we still keep in touch every now and again, however, I really clicked with one of them and we became really close friends.
I absolutely love my friend. He's funny, kind, caring, honestly a great guy. We get along so well and we just 'get' each other. He's 35 but tbh I thought he was older than me! He's been single for awhile.
Anyway, a couple of days ago he asked if I wanted to meet up for a coffee and a catch up as he was in the area. He doesn't live local to me but travels around a lot for work.
When I met him, we chatted as normal but I could tell something wasn't right so asked him what was up. He told me that he wanted to meet me today to tell me that he was in love with me and has been since a long time and that was the reason he broke up with his gf. He started having feelings for me and he then broke up with her. He hadn't told me earlier because I am so vocal about not being in a relationship so knew it was pointless.
I was in shock and taken aback and said I didn't know and mumbled an excuse and then left. It was a horrible thing to do and I don't know why I did that. Now I've had time to process it, I feel we could give it a go but have so many questions, like kids, etc. I've been so obstinate in focussing on my kids and our family unit that I've just blocked out being in a relationship ever again.
Ive probably hurt his feelings and he's rethinking his decision too. I don't know what to say to him. Obviously sorry for a start but would he believe my poor reason for an excuse. Should I call, request to meet up again, text. I don't want to mess this up like I already have!