WWYD - house move options

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DH and I have sold our house. We have DS(5) and will not be having any more children. We’re fairly happy with the area we live in - DS is settled in his school and it’s about a 20min drive to both our jobs (we work in the same area). We have access to plenty of local amenities. We manage to go on a couple of holidays abroad each year, and have money for luxuries such as gym memberships, swimming lessons and football training for DS, beauty treatment and meals/drinks out with friends, as well as days out with DS. I work part-time in a profession well-known for burnout. I could work full-time, but it would seriously impact family life (I did until DS was born).

Option 1: a lovely house in the same area as ours (about 1 mile away) which has the same number of bedrooms as ours, but more living space. We’d decorate most rooms if we bought it. Financially, it wouldn’t have much of an impact on our lives.

Option 2: a BEAUTIFUL house, much larger in all aspects, including a much larger garden than both our current house and option 1. This would be our dream house. It is in an area about 20 mins from ours (in the ‘wrong’ direction for work), but it is much quieter and considered a ‘better’ area to raise children in. We’d have to drive past our house/DS’ school on our way to work so would keep him at the same school. However, it is far more expensive and would stretch us financially, so that we’d have to cut back on luxuries. I’m very reluctant to return to work full time as I actually spend my two days off doing work. My MH would suffer enormously.

Which house would you choose?

Option 1

Not 2 but I interested to hear why sold your house. If you hadn't i would probably be suggesting you stay put.

1 for me. Being able to work pt would be a priority as would short commute

I’d definitely choose option 2. We always went for the best, and largest house we could manage in an area we liked. We really struggled when we bought our last house and went without holidays, new clothes, and any luxuries for a few years, but it was worth it to get the house we wanted. Nice as they are, no-one needs to have holidays, beauty treatments etc, and I’m sure it would be perfectly possible to make significant economies and still carry on working part time. As far your journey to work is concerned, a 20 minute drive is nothing, and doubling it wouldn’t be much of a hardship - I would have loved a journey of under an hour when Inwas commuting. If you don’t go for your dream house, you will always regret it.

Option 1

I think it’d depend on ‘However, it is far more expensive and would stretch us financially’ - how much of a stretch it is.

Your life sounds pretty blissful financially tbh at the moment and I wouldn’t be changing that for something material.

Option 1.

Option 1.

Option 1.
A large garden sounds lovely but gardens are a lot of work to maintain. That alone would put me off Option 2, let alone anything else.

That’s a good questions. A number of reasons, which have been bugging us increasingly over the years. We’re beginning to outgrow it now and it’s starting to need some work doing, we live on a very busy road and hadn’t anticipated quite how noisy it would be, and one set of neighbours are vile. They have very loud parties that go on late into the night.
We’ve not long been the beneficiaries of an inheritance, which means we can afford a change without it impacting our lives (house no. 1).

Option 1. Brits seem to have this thing about having the largest house possible which I just don’t understand as usually larger just means filling more crap you probably don’t need. I live in a country where people have much smaller homes and are perfectly happy. Larger just means more maintenance costs and more time in upkeep which will just stress you out more.

In my experience, having more indoor and outdoor space is fantastic and makes a huge difference to your daily life. I've never filled large houses with 'crap' and the cost to maintain depends more on build quality, not size. That said, stretching yourself financially is always a risk. The largest houses I've lived in have been outside the UK so I can't comment on whether it's a 'thing' or not.

I agree with this. You are not planning on being a large family. Why stretch yourselves for a few more bricks?

Option 1 .

option 1 - what's the point in having a nicer house if you're going to be in it less (20 mins might not seem like much less of a commute but that's 2hrs less with your DS a week for your DH). twice as long a drive = twice as much risk of traffic or an accident. 40 minute commute twice a day = just under 7hrs commuting a week for him = nearly a whole extra working day.

I don't understand why anybody would spend a second longer on commuting- literally just sitting in traffic burning money in petrol/electric than they have to. There used to be this competitive 'anything under an hour is barely noticeable' commuting culture on here but since covid it's thankfully died a bit of a death as people become more used to wfh/hybrid working etc and realise how much time it adds up to over the course of years/your life, and what a complete waste it is (not to mention environmental impact, etc.)

Who is likely to come visit you there, and how often, if it's not close to workplace or where you currently live? You might end up seeing your friends less and then feeling guilty about going out for catch up coffees or birthday meals because of the cost.

DS won't be able to go and play with his friends after school and if he's invited round after tea doubt the parents will fancy doing a 20min drive there and back to drop him home if they've been in work all day too - it'll be harder for you to get involved in lift shares etc as he grows up. He might make new friends in the local area but it's not like the 1980s where kids just go out to play in the street - the kids in the new area will have already established friendship groups from being in school together and playdates at each others houses organised by their parents.

What would you actually do with the extra space? Are you a particularly keen gardener or anything? You can only sit in one room at a time!

Option 2.

Depends on whether the financial stretch is temporary or permanent for me. I am a homebody so how much I enjoy my house is a major factor in how much I enjoy my life, much more than beauty treatments and so on.

But if it meant financial insecurity for the long term I wouldn’t risk it, that could ruin your enjoyment of the house completely

Option 1 because you said you’d have to work more to afford option 2 and that it would affect your MH. A fancy house is no good if you hate what you have to do to pay for it and get less time to enjoy it.

Option 1
If it wasn’t for the risk of burn out I’d consider option 2 but your health is your wealth so no to that one.

Youll spend more time commuting in op 2 also. That’s no life sitting in a car for the equivalent of a day a month more ir whatever it is. Nope.

If you have a good lifestyle are your pension provisions appropriate? It’s something we tend to forget about and if not I’d suggest putting spare cash into that so you can retire at 50 or whatever and enjoy life before menopause knackers youright out as it has me!!!!

Option 1 - you like it and it gives you more space and it’s in a good location and you will need to make it how you like

you can always find nicer if you look outside of your price range

Option 1. You get more space and can still have a nice life.

personally I enjoy being able to not have to worry about money or say no to things I want to do. I also wouldn’t want to have to work more unless I really needed to.

Never stretch yourself financially for a house unless you have no other choice.
Especially these days. Cost of living will only get worse and redundancies are high.

Option 1. I don’t see the point of stretching yourself financially and any stress or working more that comes with that just to get extra space in a house.. that you don’t need.

I’d rather have a beautiful house and garden that I loved in an area I loved than regular beauty treatments and meals out. One is an investment and the rest is just spends. I wouldn’t at the cost of my mental health and flexibility (if I had to work FT, say), but I’d gladly give up Starbucks and Sky and a facial.

I’d want to live local ish to school for friendships, near a good secondary, so I’d consider changing schools if it made more sense in the long term. If your ds is 5, you have another 13 years of him going to school. That’s a long time to stay glued to an area - his whole childhood. I wouldn’t hesitate to just move now and get settled.