How to manage finances being the lower earner and going back to work part time?

[taye1]

Mums who work part time how do you manage finances when you’re the lower earner?

We have been together 11 years, have a mortgage together and 2 kids age 4 and 7 months. He earns 60k and works away Monday- Friday (wage likely to increase soon) and I work 30 hours earning just under 22k. Plan was for me to cut down my hours, because it simply isn’t possible for me to work 4 days and manage every single thing to do with the kids and household while solo parenting all week. This will obviously come with a pay decrease and I will possibly have to go down a band in order to be able to work part time (nhs). Our total bills are around 1400. We have a joint account where we put bills money in and the bills come out of and Currently/in the past he puts in 1300 and I put in 600 (not always possible on mat leave). When I go back, what I earn will cover money to live on only for me and the kids. We won’t be saving anything in the joint account and I won’t be able to save much info my own account (I do currently have my own savings money around 14k) if anything at all while he is still able to and while his pay doesn’t change. We are clashing trying to come to an arrangement here’s and interested to know what others in this situation do and what others recommend.

We are clashing trying to come to an arrangement

not a great start to this change

You have forgotten about your 6 month old and being currently on maternity leave op?

What do you mean?

You seem to have forgotten your thread you started yesterday about your boss refusing to allow you to go part time

whereby you were on maternity leave with your second baby

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/5419255-issues-with-manager-while-on-maternity-leave-saying-i-need-to-do-a-full-time-workload-on-part-time-hours?reply=147482466

Ignore me!!

Op said she had a 7mth baby and is on mat leave in the first post

Have all your income paid into a joint account that is used for joint costs and joint savings.

An amount is sent to personal accounts to spend and save as you wish.

Make sure he appreciates the value of having the freedom to work as he does without having to think about looking after DC. If he wants you to pay half the bills, he needs to do half of everything at home and rearrange his working commitments to accommodate this.

Why would you be paying for "you and the kids"? Isn't he their dad?

We went to a more joint money situation and keep savings roughly 50/50. If anything we agree I need a bit more in savings than DH because I have less earning power.

It sounds quite a lot like your partner is trying to screw you over. Let me guess, you're not married...?

Thanks

I have been a dumb ass

But my point remains…. Not a good sign you’re already clashing with him about this.

what is he suggesting?

@Curledup14 The children are 4 and 7 months. The word ‘months’ went to the next line, so it looked like the ages are 4 and 7.

I have been totally stupid!!

Yes I know, we had a big row about it. He suggested moving all our money into one accounts, I said no as my savings are mostly from inheritance and that’s all I have as a backup. And he suggested putting money into another joint account where I could access it I said no because I didn’t want him watching over what I was spending, I suggested he send to me instead. I just don’t really know how to manage this, im sure that we can come to an arrangement and we never clash about money usually but both unsure how to navigate

So you want completely separate accounts and be transfer money to you. Correct?

You need to change your mindset around it being your money/his money.

You are facilitating his higher income by caring for his kids & running the house. All money coming in should be considered joint. Any money left over after bills etc should be split so you have the same spending money. We pay this into our separate personal accounts and have a joint savings account.

If he doesn’t agree that this is fair, you’ve not hot a money problem, you’ve got a husband problem.

Why are you linking my previous post, this is a different issue? I’ve mentioned about my baby and going back to work, what is the issue?

Apologies

You seem to think what’s yours is yours and what’s his is yours, every suggestion he makes you say no to if it means you’re impacted.

I didn’t like to say but… this

Why do you put in so much? It doesn't seem proportional to what you are earning. Is he forgetting you work part time to care for your joint children and facilitate him working away?!

You are better than me as l wouldn't entertain him working away in the week and having all home / children responsibility for days at a time. He would either have to get a new job or a new wife!

I wouldn't be agreeing to the hours cut or banding reduction. It will have too many pay and pension implications for you

Joint account.

If he is earning £60k then I would have thought he should be putting a lot more into the joint, given you are a team and the higher earner should support the lower so you both have equal savings/spends. However you have just mentioned you have your own separate savings pot so not sure whether you actually are sat on savings while expecting him to pay more? Are you married?

However you decide the work in and out the home is split the key is to always have an equal amount of 'free' time and personal money.

I'm pt 24k, dh ft 51k. All money goes in one pot for any household/family expenses and we both take a small equal amount of personal money that's just for you. I use it for clothes, drinks with friends, personal treats etc

Remember housework/looking after children is just as important as paid employment!

If you don't want the feeling of being watched then:

All wages go into 1 joint account (savings can be separate). Bills and all child related expenses (including days out) are paid out of this account and an amount for "personal spends" is transferred to each of your personal accounts.

You can keep your inheritance ringfenced in a separate account. If you are married but don’t use it to subsidise family life it can remain ringfenced. However if you use it to make up your shortfall in earnings it’s likely a family asset anyway.