Dd's tutors are saying she absolutely has continue to do this, should I step in?

[OutinmyMoHo]

DD17 is at college studying beauty therapy.

She's almost an adult so in general I don't get too involved with anything other than helping her fund the kits/uniform etc and asking her every day how things are going and being her guinea pig!

She is very much enjoying it and hopes to go onto theatre and special effects make up artistry in the future.

Amongst various treatments, one they practice several times a week are facials. They practice on each other for all the various treatments.

When DD started over a month ago she had fairly clear skin and always did have. Since having these weekly facials her skin has erupted into quite bad acne (the first photo is DD 8 weeks ago, the second is not DD but gives you an idea of how her skin now looks). She has become so upset and depressed as each time she has a facial it triggers more spots.

DD has asked the tutors several times if she can be excused from the facials for a week or two to allow her skin to settle but is told each time absolutely not, that it's part of her course and she must partake. She is happy to carry on giving the facials but just needs this break for her skin (and mental health's) sake. She says the tutor just won't allow her to step back even for a week or two.

She's very low about it and doesn't want to go out as she feels so self conscious.

I'm considering contacting the tutor on Monday and asking her to have reconsider and to give DD a break for a while?

Should I get involved? What would you do?

It’s awful and YES this is the argument! What sort of message does that give about how to deal with this in a professional setting!! They absolutely should be ramming home the message that skin is delicate, precious and should be treated very carefully!!

I wouldn't have much confidence in the facials I was being taught if they did that to my face!

I had a tutor like the same course and was the reason I dropped out altogether. I felt so belittled and ashamed and this woman would absolutely not even have a discussion where she might be shown to be wrong. In fact the more of an issue it became, the more she seemed to be unpleasant to me in general. My parents wouldn’t get involved but if your daughter wants you to, please do. And go higher than the tutor if you need to.

It’s so much the opposite of what a good beauty therapist should be encouraging.

Exactly! What on earth would they expect students (when qualified) to do if a client's skin reacted like this?

When you contact the college be sure to include the word ‘safeguarding’ as in they are not safeguarding her by forcing her to continue doing something that is causing actual bodily harm, despite your daughter explaining the situation. Copy the head of the college in on the email.

OP get a go appointment first as your daughter is going to be left with scarring if this continues. I would, if not happy with the Go pay to see a private dermatologist as this absolutely can be sorted out.

I would put in a formal complaint asking either the sudden inflammation has been recorded as an accident or possible adverse effect. I would also complain about their failure to safeguard your daughter from future harm and to safeguard her mental health. I would also complain about the inappropriate comments.

Be great if you could go through this with your daughter and she could submit the complaint but if she is feeling low then I would absolutely do it for her. This is so below acceptable standards and is just very unkind too.

That’s awful your poor daughter
I agree GP appointment
speak to the college and print off the photos and ask to speak to the principal and if they’re dismissive threaten them with escalating to governors and offstead x

She's not 18 and even if she were you as mum are perfectly right to intervene.

Just wrong to make her continue.

I would bypass the tutor and go to Head of Department. It is insane. It may well be hormones, however the treatments are clearly exacerbating the situation.

This contravenes health and safety and the Equalities Act.

GP appointment. My DS had skin like that and is now on a 3 month course of antibiotics with much improvement already.

Gosh! I would say go to the doctor with the photos you have and get a note, she can't continue the facials as they may be the cause. Also note - they may not be the cause, it could be just bad timing.

OP I think a useful approach might be to say to the tutor that your daughter has started getting acne, despite never having it before. Say that you strongly suspect it may the ingredients in the facials, but acknowledge that it may just be coincidence (because plenty of kids develop acne at this age).

I’m a GP, and if your daughter came to me with new onset acne, the first thing I’d ask is if there had been any changes in diet, lifestyle, skin products etc. If she told me about the facials, my advice would be to stop them for a couple of months to see if her skin improved. I’d put that in writing if necessary.

Maybe if you suggest that to the tutor it might be better received. Put it across as a trial you wanted to do, as a process of elimination. I wouldn’t want to subject someone to the possible side effects of acne treatment if their acne could be cured by simply eliminating one skin product.

She doesn't need oral antibiotics. A topical one will clear it.

I will definitely ring them up on Monday, dd says she has tried talking to the tutor about this several times but as I've mentioned further up thread the tutor will not accept that the treatments are causing this and blames diet/lifestyle/hormones etc, anything other than the treatments/products used in the college.

Actually one thought - it could be a combination of the products and possibly inefficient cleaning of tools (aren’t all tools meant to be thoroughly sterilised between clients? If they’re doing this on each other in a lecture period then it’s unlikely that the tools are being properly cleaned)

I would also stress the safeguarding and ensure that she is able to avoid the facials.

Good luck

Thank you. We will try and get a GP appointment this week and I will ask the tutor if dd could have a short respite from treatments to see if there may be an improvement in the acne.

NGL I would be a bit concerned about the quality of the teaching if they are disregarding a reaction to the products!! If an actual paying client had a reaction like that, no way would you ever use it on them again!

You need to contact whoever is responsible for the course’s accreditation (I assume there would be something like that?) and inform them.

I wouldn't be asking nicely OP. I'd be dropping phrases like safeguarding, formal complaint, social media, Ofsted into the conversation. And the talk to the tutor would be a courtesy visit only, I'd be already figuring out the best person to approach at the college if the tutor doesn't immediately change their attitude.

Absolutely this. They are using the students as free guinea pigs so they don’t have to recruit outside volunteers but your dd’s severe reaction should obviously have been recognized and treated/respected as a reason to excuse her and also to rethink a quite harmful practice.

Bloody hell I'd be contacting the safeguarding lead, she's still a child and the college's teaching practices are causing her harm! That is unacceptable.

Hi op this is outrageous.

Why do you need to be gentle about this? As previous poster said ,pics and head of department

It's a.safe guarding issue

Id also potentially cc safe guarding in

I thought facials would be a good idea in the weeks running up to my wedding. After just 2 treatments my skin was doing the same as your daughters.
I saw the GP who put me on antibiotics and made it very clear I was to put nothing else on my skin. The salon agreed and refused to do any further treatments.
It took 6 weeks to clear up.

Would very much recommend some GP intervention here to put a stop to it.

@frockandcrocs and this yes course accreditation

You would be surprised how bullied young people get and places get away with it because like you op you think she's nearly an adult don't want to be over bearing etc.
Op step in !!

You need to step up for her. Independence it’s important, but she is still a child.

You also need to take her to the GP. That looks like allergic dermatitis, which needs treatment. If she has a diagnosed condition the college cannot force her to make herself ill.

I have specific allergies, diagnosed by NHS patch testing, and that’s how my face would look if I had repeated facials.

At work I am provided with gloves if I need to do something which will expose me to my allergens. Why on earth should she be treated differentl?