How ready were your kids for school?

[NameChangedForThis2025]

I’m just about to do school visits for my DC who will be 4.5 when they start next September. It just seems so very young to me. Where I’m from kids don’t start until they’re 5 and I’m a fan of the Scandinavian models which start later and let kids be kids for longer.

I know he will develop a lot in a year but he just seems so far off being ready for school, especially when I see so many mumsnet posters with preternaturally bright children who can basically read by the time they start!

Physically he’s great, he’s toilet trained day and night, good with independent activities like getting dressed etc (recently mastered buttons), and his communication is good but he still scribbles when he draws, only recognises the number 3 and doesn’t recognise any letters.

Just struggling with the idea that he’ll be expected to start school in less than a year and looking for reassurance! 🙏🏻

It's a huge proportion of their life at this age. Think back to what he was doing a year ago and how much he has developed since. Being school ready is more about being able to sit and listen to the teacher, go to the toilet independently, put their own coat on etc. If he is happy to hold a pencil and mark make, that's fine at this age. He will refine it over the year, but he doesn't need to be able to write when starting Reception. Although Reception is school, it's still part of the EYFS and is a play-based curriculum.

Although it's called school, reception is very different from year 1 and above. It's mostly play.

My twins started school 3 days after turning 4. They played everyday, made friends as had a lovely time.

Main things were to ensure dc can undress and dress themselves for pe, use the toilet.

Preschool and nursery help prepare them for being separated from you, making friends, putting on shoes, getting dressed and leaving on time.

From what I saw the kids love it. They make new friends and enjoy the routine. I think the ones who hadn’t been separated from their parents before struggled the most so making sure you do preschool or activities where they are with someone else gets them ready.

Thanks all. He’s been at nursery 4 days a week 8-5 since he was one. Despite that he’s often not great at drop offs although he has a great time once we’re gone! He just doesn’t like the leaving part.

He’s also not really a sitting still kind of child!

They need to be able to use cutlery, go to the toilet themselves, dress themselves, know their name, be able to listen and follow instructions.

They don't have to be able to read or write.

Mine were both chomping at the bit to get to school. Both girls November born. Holding them off any longer would not have suited.

He’ll be fine and probably like the shorter days! Reception is very much like preschool :)

DS was 4 years and 2 weeks.

He was toilet trained, could dress himself (slowly) and count to 10, knew his letters and could write his (three letter) name. He liked school. He didn't like school food much.

My DDs both have birthdays in May and they were plenty ready at 4yrs3mos.

Your DS also sounds plenty ready now. He can manage himself: clothes, shoes, toilet; and knows some basics: 3 is the answer to everything, right?
Between now and starting in a year, you can show him some letters and he will be more than ready, especially if he's going to preschool/playgroup or similar for a day or two or more.

In the best way, they are all so much more capable than we imagine.

It sounds like he’s well on the way to being ready and he’s got almost a year until he goes. Practice the counting and phonics sound and getting him to recognize his name. Does he go to nursery? They will focus on school readiness this year so he’ll make good progress there probably. For reassurance, my dd started reception last year, she’s summer born so was younger then your DS will be when he starts. She was ready for school, could do numbers up to 20, some basic phonics sounds and could recognize and write her name, but she couldn’t do more then that for phonics/reading. She finished reception at the expected level and on the top half of her class, and is now doing well in year 1.

The Scandinavian model still has children in some form of childcare at a young age. They are expected to be more independent than children are in this country. They will be doing fine motor skills eg using sharp knives at a young age.

Mine were both 4.5 (early spring birthdays) and they were plenty ready. You’d be amazed how much changes in a year.