TW pregnant with EX baby and not sure how to feel

[PearltheGreenCat]

As the title says really, I already have DD2 with him

I was with him for 6 years, the usual story. It started perfectly and I thought he was my hero. Then he started to get more controlling then when I was pregnant it really ramped up and he became violent and angry at the slightest thing.
He only showed interest in DD when his family were over to visit but normally he would just ignore her or shout and storm off.

Then a few months ago she dropped a toy and he totally lost it shouting at her and got right up in her face. I got involved and begged him not to hit her. He then stormed off shouting that he wouldn't hit a kid but I saw the look in his eye and I knew I had to get her out of there before he hurts her.

So I got in touch with womens aid and other charities and made a plan to leave which we did about 3 months ago. But because I didn't want him to know we were leaving I was having sex with him right up until we left.

The 1st month he wouldn't stop messaging me or getting his friends to call. Then his last message he sent he said he was moving back to his home country to his family. That he was going to tell them I had cheated on him that DD wasn't his and he was moving so I couldn't make him pay child support and not to contact him.

I've been putting on weight and eating rubbish so I went to the GP to see about weight loss jabs and they tested to see if I was pregnant and of course I was.
Ive got a scan appointment Monday to establish whats going on.

But I'm so confused. On the one hand I've always wanted two kids but I am just not in the right place for a new baby. Ive got no support and barely any money as it is. But then I think of the tiny baby a little DD and I can't help but feel a connection. I don't know if I could go through with an abortion. But how will I manage I was just feeling like DD and I were getting a handle on things and now I have no idea what to do.

This does not feel like a healthy environment to bring another child into.

No, you're right its not. I suppose in some ways it feels better now we are away but its still not great and I do feel terrible for DD so bringing another child into this wouldnt be right.
I just feel so terrible about it.

You need to do what’s best for you and your daughter and I would say at this moment in time OP this is not the right time for you to be having another child with the same man. Financially you’ve said you can’t afford another child and secondly the babies dad being the way he is and what he has said about moving away too. You have no support and it’s extremely hard being a single parent to children I am doing it. I sometimes wish I could go back and re think some of the decisions I’ve made, I know damn well I wouldn’t want to be on my own struggling bringing up children that I’ve been left to do on my own when it shouldn’t be that way. You have time for more children in the future when you eventually heal and move forward and meet someone worthy of your time and your love. I would focus on your daughter and yourself until you have both healed and are in a better place. As much as you feel bad about it all deep down you know what is best. It doesn’t mean you can’t have anymore children later though. Sending you virtual hugs 🤗

There will be more chances to have a sibling for DD in the future. When you've met a decent man who treats you right. Now is not the right time and its not the right man. I would terminate but you must decide on whatever choice you feel you can live with. It's a very individual thing.

I agree with others.

If I was in your shoes, as hard as it is, I would choose to terminate.

You don’t want to have a baby you can’t afford to look after with a violent and abusive ex partner.

in a few years when your DD gets older, you’ll have time to date and meet someone new. And you can have a baby that you can enjoy properly, rather than struggling along