PMS pushed my partner away and I feel lost (pmdd)

[Foresthealing]

So I came on period today and my mood swings are insane. I was being hard work in the car to my partner moaning about feeling overwhelmed for nothing and he kept asking why. I had to keep saying my hormones and I got so annoyed I blow up! He then shouted enough! And we sat in silence for 20 mins.

I got to the dentist and he handed me the car keys and said drive yourself home. I was shocked he did this as it felt a littl drastic. He left and got an uber 30mins back.

I came out and thought he was joking but he'd left.

I came back and had a huge argument. He knows fear of abandonment is something I am fearful of due to childhood trauma. He said he didn't think it would
Trigger me so much.

He said I upset him and he needed to cool off and I felt abandoned.

Now we cannot see eye to eye! I don't know what to do :(

What professional help are you seeking/having for these things?

I'm in therapy at the moment and taking magnesium to try and help :(

Oh dear. Sounds like you’re really suffering with it. You’ll have to speak to your G.P. & try and control yourself with him or you might lose him. Take care.x

I think so :( he's gone out now and hope he comes back. Feel so lost :(

It is taking over my life

Are you like this every month?

I think you need to really stick to therapy, take accountability and try to remember that this is someone you’re supposed to love, not your punching bag.

You cannot take out your moods on him and blame it on your hormones and then when he gets some much needed space guilt trip him for “triggering” you further. Own your issues, apologise, and try to be better going forwards before it is too late and he has had enough.

You're right! I'm going to contact my doctor tomorrow.

I'm in therapy and trying with the herbalistic route but maybe I need medication.

I do take accountability it's just when the pmdd is so intense you feel like you're on fire.

Leading up to my period I can be yes :( trying to manage it through therapy but clearly not enough. Sometimes I feel like unaliving myself it gets that bad

I'm so sorry to read this op.
What you've described sounds like what I used to be like with my DH.
I too have abandonment issues stemming from childhood trauma, and what you described your DP doing is something that happened to me as well. I was left to come home on my own and it hurts so deeply inside I know, when you know that your own behaviour resulted in you being left alone.
My advice, because you do sound sorry, and you have been seeking help is to apologise sincerely to DP.
Your DP sounds as if he has really reached the end of his tether as well, and doesn't know how to handle it any more.
Keep on with the therapy and make sure you keep on getting help for yourself because otherwise there will be tension and mistrust between you, and each time you do a reset, it might be for the last time.
All the best op, the good thing is you're self aware and you know you need help and you are trying whatever it takes. X

Thank you so much for your kind words. Sometimes pmdd can feel so lonely and having childhood traumas come out is not easy.

We did have a proper heart to heart and I did open up about some of those traumas on a deeper level than I have before which has helped.

We have also decided to do some couples counselling to help have better responses in these moment.

Learning as we go but he reassured me he does understand this is a condition out of my hands and since I am seeking help for it he knows it's a path which can be bumpy but isn't being ignored